My Partner and I Engage in Affectionate Touch in Front of Our Kids, Here’s Why

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My partner and I are affectionate with each other on a daily basis. I take pride in the fact that, after nearly two decades together, we still share a strong attraction. I believe there’s no reason to keep this aspect of our relationship hidden from our children.

Let’s face it: maintaining intimacy becomes a real challenge after having kids. With so many responsibilities, it’s easy for the focus on your partner to diminish, often leading to a decline in your romantic life. To counter this, my partner and I have made it a point to keep that spark alive.

We share spontaneous hugs, lingering kisses, and cozy moments on the couch. But we also sneak in playful gropes and light touches when we think the kids aren’t watching—whether it’s behind the pantry door or while busy with chores. We’re not engaging in anything inappropriate, just enjoying lighthearted moments during everyday activities, like cooking or doing the dishes.

For us, these little gestures are a fun way to express our love—like quick snacks that keep us looking forward to more intimate moments later. Of course, we don’t have a romantic encounter every night, so let’s not jump to conclusions!

Based on my quick research about couples and physical affection, it seems I might be in the minority when it comes to enjoying these playful moments. I understand that “groping” might not sound appealing to everyone, and that’s perfectly okay. What works for our relationship may not work for yours, and that’s the beauty of personal dynamics.

After all, every couple desires some form of physical affection. I find it reassuring that, even after 20 years and four kids, my partner still finds me attractive. If that ever changed, I would start to worry.

We also have our fair share of disagreements in front of our kids. It’s important for them to see that even the closest relationships have ups and downs. They need to understand that you can be annoyed with someone one minute and affectionate the next—this is the reality of love.

I want my kids to realize that the grand gestures often portrayed in movies don’t define real life. Most of marriage involves daily routines, responsibilities, and yes, the occasional playful groping to connect with your partner. I want them to witness the full spectrum of a healthy relationship, including both affection and respectful disagreements.

Even if my kids roll their eyes and say “ewww,” it brings me joy. They may find it amusing, but it also teaches them that their parents genuinely enjoy each other. I want my children to grow up without shame regarding physical affection, and to realize that intimacy can take many forms, not just in private settings.

We maintain boundaries, of course. But I see no harm in my kids witnessing some playful affection, just as I believe it’s crucial for them to see us navigate challenges together.

Whether you agree with public displays of affection or not, it’s essential for parents to model a loving relationship. Children deserve to grow up in an environment where they see genuine affection between their parents, which can look different for each couple. So let’s not judge each other’s expressions of love.

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In summary, my partner and I embrace playful affection in front of our children as a way to model a healthy relationship. It’s important for them to see both the joy and the challenges of intimacy in everyday life, helping them develop their own understanding of love and connection.

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