Does your little one have a meltdown whenever they encounter someone new? Do they even shy away from familiar faces like Grandma? This behavior can be perplexing, especially if they were once comfortable being held by anyone. However, as children grow, it’s common for them to experience stranger anxiety, which marks a developmental phase where they begin to recognize the difference between familiar and unfamiliar individuals. While this can complicate outings, don’t worry; this stage is temporary.
Some children may outgrow stranger anxiety by eight months, but it often reappears around 12 to 15 months and may linger until they’re 24 months old. The shift in behavior—from eagerly running to Grandma to crying for you—can be baffling, but it’s a normal part of development. Experts agree on this, so be sure to communicate this to Grandma!
If your child is experiencing stranger anxiety, here’s what to consider to help them navigate their fears.
Understanding Stranger Anxiety
Stranger anxiety refers to the feelings of discomfort that your child may feel around unfamiliar people. Typically, babies start showing signs of this anxiety between seven to ten months, although some can feel it as early as three months. It’s a normal part of growing up and usually doesn’t persist for long. After a brief break, parents may see the anxiety return around 12 months, easing again between 15 and 24 months. At this stage, children begin to understand their relationships with those they see most often—like you—and recognize that strangers are different, which can trigger feelings of anxiety.
Supporting Your Child’s Fears
It’s crucial to validate your child’s feelings rather than dismissing them. Every child reacts differently to unfamiliar faces; some may not experience this anxiety at all, and that’s completely acceptable. Acknowledging your child’s hesitance can help you create a supportive environment where they feel secure expressing their fears.
Ways to Reassure Your Child
Reassurance is key. If your toddler gets upset in the presence of unfamiliar people, stay close to them to provide a sense of safety. It’s also beneficial to inform the “stranger”—like Grandma or a neighbor—about your child’s anxiety, so they can approach your child more gently and with understanding.
Introducing Your Child to New Faces
Gradual introductions can significantly reduce your child’s anxiety. Instead of dropping them off at daycare or with a new babysitter right away, consider visiting the daycare together first or inviting the babysitter over for a meet-and-greet at home. Playing a few games can also help establish a connection. This approach works for family members too, who may also be viewed as unfamiliar.
During these introductions, allow your child to sit in your lap or hold your hand for reassurance. If possible, introduce new people in a familiar setting, such as your child’s room, which serves as a comforting environment. Keep a beloved toy nearby, and maintain a calm demeanor; children can pick up on their parents’ anxiety.
Is Taking It Slow a Good Idea?
Absolutely! Navigating stranger anxiety requires patience and compassion. Remember, it’s okay to take a break from parenting duties if you have family who can help watch your child. However, your toddler cannot simply take a break from their feelings. It’s essential to avoid pushing them into situations with strangers before they are ready.
While stranger anxiety can be challenging and may last several months, with love and understanding, your child will soon be ready for new experiences, including babysitting!
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Summary:
Stranger anxiety is a common phase in toddlers where they feel uncomfortable around unfamiliar individuals. This behavior typically emerges between seven to ten months and can return around 12 to 15 months. To support your child, validate their feelings, provide reassurance, and introduce new faces gradually. With patience and understanding, your toddler will adapt to new experiences.
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