Breastfeeding can be incredibly frustrating. The whole process—from pumping to the relentless pressure to produce breast milk—has been my least favorite aspect of motherhood. While I cherish the intimate moments of nursing my baby, with her sweet gaze and tiny hand grasping my hair, the reality is often a struggle. It turns out that the act of nursing is just a small fraction of what breastfeeding entails—something I never learned in school or during my pediatric residency. Yes, here I am, a board-certified pediatrician, expressing my disdain for breastfeeding and all that comes with it.
I had always imagined being a laid-back, bohemian mom nursing my children until they were two. I envisioned serene bedtime rituals, but my first experience with breastfeeding was a disaster. My baby struggled to latch, despite the lactation consultants’ visits and their suggestions to syringe-feed her. This meant I had to get her to latch onto my finger while we dribbled milk into her mouth, a process that took an exhausting 90 minutes per feed, with the expectation to do this every two hours. The advice to hold off on pacifiers until a “healthy breastfeeding relationship” was established felt like a cruel joke. Trying to manage a crying newborn while dealing with postpartum recovery made it seem like some people truly enjoy watching new mothers suffer.
Eventually, after three weeks, my first baby latched, but by then, her weight was dropping dangerously low. I brought in diapers that tested positive for blood, and the next step was to eliminate all dairy and soy from my diet. I quickly became miserable and isolated; navigating food choices felt impossible. Dining out meant I could only have brown rice and broccoli. If you’ve ever seen a nursing mother, who needs extra calories to sustain milk production, told she can only eat those two items, you know true suffering.
Despite my efforts, my baby still didn’t gain weight. The pediatrician ultimately advised me to stop breastfeeding. I ended up nursing for just two months, and I cried often as I poured my pumped milk down the sink, resigning to formula feeding. The guilt and shame were overwhelming, compounded by the time and money I spent on lactation support.
The emotional toll of feeding my first child was so severe that it induced panic attacks at the thought of going through it again. When my second baby arrived, I promised myself I’d be gentler. Yet, here we were again, facing latch issues that required a doctor to perform a frenotomy, allowing her to latch without pain. It worked, and we began to develop a good nursing relationship. However, returning to work during the pandemic put a strain on my milk supply. I found myself pumping less frequently than I should, and my supply dwindled. I constantly reminded myself that I was still a good mom—despite missed pumping sessions and the fact that her dad was giving her formula.
The pressure on mothers regarding breastfeeding is immense. We need to support one another and agree that as soon as our babies take their first breath, we shouldn’t burden ourselves with unrealistic expectations. No matter how much breast milk you can provide, you are still a wonderful mother.
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Summary:
Breastfeeding can be an overwhelming and often disappointing experience for many mothers, including those in the medical field. While the act of nursing can be rewarding, the pressure to produce milk and the challenges that come with it can lead to feelings of guilt and frustration. It’s essential for mothers to support one another and recognize that providing nourishment, in whatever form, makes them good moms.
Keyphrase: Breastfeeding challenges
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