The Weight of Working Mom Burnout: A Journey to Reclaim Time

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Four hours a day: that’s the time I used to spend commuting from my home in Connecticut to my job in downtown Manhattan. Initially, I welcomed the commute as a much-needed respite from the chaos of parenting. It provided me with moments to meditate, read, or simply gaze out the window of the Metro-North train before diving into my workday at 8 a.m. Like a typical New Yorker, I would hop off the train, drop my coat and lunch, and rush to the bathroom and coffee machine. A blur of productivity would follow until I made the reverse journey back home.

Then, March happened.

The COVID-19 pandemic turned my world upside down, and I found myself at home, managing remote learning for my three kids while juggling my job. This unexpected shift has taught me invaluable lessons about setting boundaries — a skill I’ve been trying to master throughout my life.

Establishing boundaries is essential for maintaining my sanity, yet it’s been a challenge. In college, I learned to say “no,” even if it felt uncomfortable. The pandemic has forced me to revisit this skill, and I’ve discovered the importance of advocating for my needs and those of my children. Adjusting our daily structure has required me to prioritize my voice and my time.

A 2015 report by CNN Money highlighted that women spent an average of 7 hours and 49 minutes working each day, while only getting about 7 hours and 56 minutes of sleep. Now, with the shift to remote work, it’s all too easy to blur the lines between work and home life. The temptation to work late into the night or respond to emails during family time is ever-present. However, I’ve realized I also have the power to choose differently. I can opt for a work-life balance that I control.

When Friday rolls around, I disconnect — almost to the point of deleting my work email app. After 5 p.m., I refuse to check my emails, and I don’t log in over the weekend. I make exceptions for urgent calls, but those are rare.

I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything critical by signing off on Fridays. Instead, I gain precious time for myself: whether it’s enjoying a glass of wine at 5:01 p.m., binge-watching a show, or participating in virtual church on Sundays. I’ve answered the call to reclaim my time, allowing myself moments that were previously overshadowed by work obligations.

I value my role at the nonprofit where I work and appreciate the opportunity to make a difference. Yet, the pandemic has tested my mental health, stamina, and relationships. The most important lesson I’ve learned is that I should not feel guilty for prioritizing my well-being.

Motherhood is incredibly challenging, and we often prioritize our children above all else. However, COVID-19 has empowered me to put myself first without guilt. My emotional and mental health rely on setting clear boundaries in both my work and personal life.

Let’s face it — guilt can be a relentless adversary. I sometimes feel it when I have to reschedule a meeting because my kids’ teachers changed their online class times, or when I decline a call to be present for my children. But I’ve come to understand that I can’t do it all. It’s unrealistic to excel at work, bake cookies from scratch, and ensure my partner has dinner ready without dropping some balls along the way.

I’m reclaiming my time and setting boundaries: shutting down work at the end of the day, avoiding emails while I’m with my kids, and ensuring I’m present for them. While we can only hope that COVID-19 becomes a distant memory, the boundaries I’ve established will remain. I now feel empowered to communicate my limits, reschedule meetings, and prioritize my family when needed. This has shown my children that achieving balance is possible, but it requires intentional choices.

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Summary

This article explores the challenges and revelations of working moms during the COVID-19 pandemic. It highlights the importance of setting boundaries, prioritizing mental health, and reclaiming personal time amidst the chaos of parenting and remote work. The author reflects on their journey to balance work and family life, emphasizing the need to advocate for oneself.

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Keyphrase: Working Mom Burnout

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