Ah, 2020. A year many will remember with a mix of disdain and disbelief. It was a time when joy seemed to emerge “despite” a host of unfortunate events. Achievements were often overshadowed by significant losses. We often discussed “surviving” the year as if mere survival was a victory, but then felt a pang of guilt realizing that this low bar of success wasn’t met by countless others. It feels wrong to have had a relatively decent year while so many have faced unimaginable hardships.
And I’m not just referring to the pandemic. The tragic killing of George Floyd by law enforcement in late May brought systemic racism into the national spotlight, igniting protests and unrest across the U.S. and beyond. Fires devastated the West Coast, displacing communities and wildlife alike. The loss of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and her replacement with a conservative judge rocked the political landscape. Meanwhile, misinformation and absurd conspiracy theories seemed to grip a significant portion of the U.S. population.
Yet, amidst the chaos, I emerged with one significant takeaway: clarity.
The events of 2020 revealed people’s true natures and helped me understand what behaviors I can no longer accept. It felt akin to a coming-out experience—where you see who truly supports you without conditions. I learned to release toxic relationships and even felt grateful when they exited my life.
As the pandemic escalated in March and April, it became evident that some acquaintances were politically or financially motivated to dismiss scientific facts. “Willful ignorance” became a recurring thought. It’s one thing to be misled, but it’s another to actively seek out fringe “experts” who validate your biases while ignoring mountains of contradicting evidence. I realized I’m no longer interested in maintaining connections with those who choose ignorance. Farewell!
Oh, and hello, you’ve been harboring some serious biases all along!
It’s one thing to be misinformed; it’s another to ignore the pleas of countless individuals striving to share their experiences. I get infuriated thinking about the many white individuals who deny systemic racism, relying on evidence from other white sources to dismiss its existence. Or worse, amplifying the voice of a lone outlier from the Black community who contradicts the overwhelming majority pleading for understanding. Enough already!
Ah, I see you’re only an ally when it’s convenient.
In 2020, many who had previously remained silent about systemic racism suddenly found their voices. Speaking out against racism and police brutality became less risky for personal brands. I understand that some were late to the conversation, but many of you knew about these issues all along and chose not to speak up. We see you.
On another note, while queer individuals remained present in 2020, the enthusiasm for supporting them waned. Bigotry and homophobia persist, with conservative groups actively pushing their anti-queer agendas. If you were a vocal ally in 2019—especially when it garnered likes on social media—but went quiet in 2020, just so you know, we noticed.
I used to think you were smart, but now you believe in bizarre conspiracies.
I understand that this year has been challenging, and during stressful times, many can be swayed by improbable theories. Yet, how have so many people I once respected fallen for ridiculous conspiracies? Claims that celebrities are involved in child trafficking or that the coronavirus was engineered to implant tracking devices are absurd. The government already has access to so much of our personal information. Really!
My tolerance for certain behaviors has diminished significantly, and I appreciate this change.
I find myself speaking out more, directly calling out nonsense when I see it. I hit “unfriend” or “block” on social media more often. My world has shrunk a bit, and I’m perfectly fine with that. I ensure I don’t isolate myself too much—I still want to know what the conspiracy theorists are saying—but I obtain that information from less personal sources.
Is this harsh? Perhaps I’m being intolerant. But that’s part of what I mean when I say 2020 brought clarity: I’m prioritizing my mental well-being. If witnessing your racist, homophobic, or conspiratorial views harms my mental health, I will step away. I’m done with that.
2020 may have been a catastrophic year, but from the ashes of that turmoil, I’ve emerged stronger and more resolute in rejecting negativity.
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- How to identify willful ignorance in friends
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Summary:
In 2020, amidst significant global upheaval, the author gained clarity on personal relationships and social awareness. They recognized the importance of distancing themselves from individuals exhibiting willful ignorance, performative allyship, and harmful conspiracy beliefs. This year of turmoil led to a stronger commitment to mental health and supportive connections.
Keyphrase: clarity in relationships
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