Balancing work and home life is a challenge that many American mothers have faced since entering the workforce. Despite this persistent struggle, achieving true balance often feels like an unattainable dream. In contrast, Germans have found a way to create a clear distinction between work and personal life through the concept of Feierabend. Given the blurred lines between these two realms today, working moms could greatly benefit from embracing this idea.
As explained by the BBC, Feierabend is a German term that marks the end of the workday and the beginning of relaxation and leisure. The word itself combines “Feier,” meaning celebration, with “Abend,” meaning evening. At the close of a workday, it’s common for Germans to wish each other “Schönen Feierabend!” which translates to “Enjoy your after-work time!” While English phrases like “happy hour” or “quitting time” come close, they don’t quite capture the feeling of finally being home and shedding the day’s stresses.
Unfortunately, American culture often doesn’t allow the luxury of a clear separation between work and home life. Research from Rescuetime shows that 40% of American professionals use their computers after 10 PM, and 26% work outside typical hours. Furthermore, the habit of checking emails and messages every few minutes has fostered a performance-driven culture that ultimately doesn’t benefit anyone.
This issue weighs heavily on working mothers, many of whom already juggle the “second shift” of household responsibilities. The pandemic has exacerbated these challenges, leading to an overwhelming sense that additional shifts are needed to keep up with demands.
I’ve often thought that striving for “balance” is an unrealistic expectation pushed onto moms, but I’m starting to reconsider whether it’s truly achievable within the constraints of American work culture. For most working moms, the concept of Feierabend may seem far-fetched. With children at home full-time, preparing meals around the clock, and maintaining a semblance of order in our chaotic lives, the thought of “balance” can be quite frustrating.
When everything turned upside down in March, I clung to my usual routine, attempting to manage work while my kids were engaged in virtual learning. This, of course, was rife with interruptions and distractions that made it difficult to concentrate on tasks. I felt perpetually busy yet unproductive, which only added to my stress.
Initially, I dismissed the idea of Feierabend with a roll of my eyes. However, as I reflected on the situation, I realized that the pandemic forced me to carve out my own version of Feierabend to maintain my sanity. I needed to establish realistic boundaries for my time. The rigid schedule I had pre-COVID was no longer feasible, and I had to adapt.
I started by allocating specific hours for work that aligned with my kids’ online school schedules, even if it meant waking up earlier or working on weekends. While this setup isn’t ideal, it has allowed me to define work and home time more clearly, leading to increased productivity.
When I’m off the clock, I strive to disconnect from my devices. Ignoring the barrage of notifications helps me engage fully in my downtime. Communicating with colleagues and managers about my challenges has also made a significant difference in managing expectations and reducing stress.
Creating a daily ritual to signal the transition from work to home life has been beneficial too. Whether it’s taking a walk, enjoying time outdoors with my kids, or simply changing out of my work clothes, these small acts provide me with a moment to breathe and reset.
The hardest lesson for me has been recognizing that I can’t do everything alone. I’ve learned to lean on my spouse and children to help with chores and responsibilities, allowing us to tackle the ever-growing to-do list together. This collaboration has opened up space for much-needed relaxation at the end of each day.
The pandemic has blurred the lines between work, home, and personal time, but it’s crucial to find ways to re-establish those boundaries. I encourage other working moms to explore their own versions of Feierabend to maintain their well-being. Schönen Feierabend, everyone!
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In summary, the German concept of Feierabend offers a valuable perspective for working mothers seeking to reclaim their personal time amid the chaos of modern life. By establishing boundaries, communicating openly, and embracing daily rituals, moms can foster a healthier balance and find moments of peace throughout their busy days.
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