Dear Little One,
This year has certainly flipped our world upside down, much like Alexander Hamilton once said in that musical we adore. Yet, rather than dwelling on the challenges we’ve faced, I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude.
You’ve been bursting with what can only be described as Kindergartener Energy. Just this past weekend, when I hoped for a moment of peace, that vibrant energy turned my plans upside down. By Sunday evening, I found myself surrounded by a mountain of drawing projects from YouTube tutorials, a stack of dirty dishes from our culinary experiments, and a collection of costume makeup strewn about. I pondered how I would survive the winter months with limited outings. I once relied on the Nintendo Switch or Disney+ to give myself a brief respite, but even those distractions no longer captivated your attention for long. So there I was, dozing on the couch at 8:30 PM while you serenaded your unicorn stuffed animal in bed after our nightly routine.
Then Monday arrived, and you went back to your dad’s house. Instantly, I missed you.
There’s a quote from a movie called Friends with Kids that often resonates with me, discussing the perks of being a divorced parent: “Divorced people actually have it kind of great. They handle all the messy parts first, and when they find the right partner, they get quality time with the kid half the time.” It’s a thought I cling to, especially when you’re away. Why, you may wonder? Because it’s a way to cope. Life can throw challenges our way, and finding the silver lining is essential to avoid being overwhelmed. With you only half the time, I can enjoy precious moments with my partner, plus get some well-deserved rest after busy days. Those are genuinely bright sides.
However, I often remind myself of this quote because the reality of missing out on half of your childhood can be quite heavy for this anxious mama. I wouldn’t change your time with your dad for anything; it’s just as important as our moments together. Yet, the pain of missing you often feels insurmountable.
But every time I see you again, it’s like a long-awaited Christmas day! I feel that same excitement as when I was your age, and I get exactly what I hoped for: you.
Today, we woke up early—mostly because you bounded into my room, asking for snuggles and a viewing of Bluey. We made eggs together and giggled as our puppies tried to lick the peanut butter and banana off our toast. Dressed in our fanciest clothes, we danced around the living room to our Spotify playlist. We had a blast!
Even though I see you only half the time, I am forever grateful for the moments we share—and that I get to be your mom.
With all my love,
Your Proud Mama