Recently, I found myself teaching my 13-year-old son how to cook. We were whipping up Dutch pancakes and frying potatoes together, enjoying the festive tunes in the background while my partner sat nearby managing our family budget. It was a typical Monday evening at 5:30 PM, and I couldn’t help but reflect on how different things were just a year prior. In 2019, I would still have been commuting home, typically arriving around 6:10 PM. Now, with no 40-minute drive, I had the opportunity to spend quality time with my son and impart some culinary skills.
With both my partner and I working from home and our children attending school remotely, I’ve been able to bond with my kids more than ever before. It seems many fathers are experiencing a similar transformation, and experts suggest this trend of increased fatherly involvement could become a lasting change. I’m all for it.
Ann Francke, the CEO of the Chartered Management Institute, shared her insights with The Guardian about the shifts in fatherly roles during 2020: “Business leaders have witnessed the reality of balancing work and family life, understanding that both parents should be supported. The transition to remote work has highlighted the benefits of flexible arrangements for all employees, ultimately aiding in cost savings. Fathers play a crucial role in advancing gender equality for mothers. Without improvements for fathers at home, there cannot be progress for mothers at work; they are interconnected.”
I’ve personally noticed a growing recognition among employers regarding the importance of fathers as equal partners in parenting. As a father of three, I find this shift encouraging. When my first two children were born, I was working as a waiter with no sick leave and no hope of paternity leave. I could only take a few days off after the births before returning to work.
With my youngest, I had a position at a university that offered benefits. However, when I expressed my intention to take a month off to support my partner following childbirth, my supervisor essentially told me that as a man, I didn’t need that much time. This was just one instance; I’ve encountered similar pushback from managers and judgment from colleagues whenever I sought time to care for my children. This societal pressure often leaves the bulk of childcare responsibilities on my partner.
The pandemic has highlighted the reality that mothers are disproportionately shouldering the burden of childcare. A recent article in The Guardian referred to UK working mothers as the “sacrificial lambs” of the childcare crisis brought on by COVID-19. As a father who actively fights for the flexibility to engage in parenting, this situation is frustrating.
But there’s reason for optimism in 2021. Despite these inequalities, the gender gap did narrow in certain contexts during 2020. For example, the UK Office for National Statistics reported a 58% increase in childcare responsibilities taken on by men during the first COVID lockdown in May. History suggests that this uptick in male involvement may lead to long-lasting change that ultimately benefits working mothers.
Adrienne Burgess, co-CEO of the Fatherhood Institute, noted that crises can spur social movements: “Research shows that significant social changes often accelerate during crises. Before World War II, women were gradually entering the workforce, but the war expedited that shift. I believe we are witnessing a similar shift in men’s engagement in childcare.”
While not every man may share my enthusiasm, I find great hope in these developments. This year has been challenging for many, including myself, my partner, and my children. Yet, my colleagues and supervisors have gained a glimpse into my life, attending meetings on Zoom while I manage parenting duties. This new reality has revealed that fathers also have parenting responsibilities. I am hopeful this will serve as a long-term wake-up call for employers and fathers alike.
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Summary
The pandemic has prompted a significant shift in fatherly involvement, highlighting the need for employers to recognize fathers as equal partners in parenting. As fathers engage more in childcare, this trend could lead to lasting changes in workplace policies and gender equality, ultimately benefiting working mothers.
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