My eldest child was potty trained without much hassle, quickly learning to wake up at night if she needed to go. It was a relief to have one of my three kids out of diapers and Pull-Ups, so I didn’t think twice about whether she was early or late in waking up dry at just four years old.
However, when her twin siblings turned four and then five, they were still wetting the bed at night, and I began to worry that they were lagging behind. By the time my son was six, he had moved on from Pull-Ups, but his twin sister had not, which made her feel uncomfortable. As a family, we talked about how everyone’s body develops at its own pace, and it was okay that she wasn’t waking up at night yet.
While I did have concerns about her bedwetting, friends and our pediatrician reassured me that she would eventually outgrow it, which is more common than most people realize. I kept my worries to myself but made sure to comfort her with the same reassurances. Now, at seven and a half, she still wets the bed, but we’ve both learned to manage the situation without stress. Although she’d prefer not to wear a Pull-Up, there’s no pressure on her to stop using them. She sometimes feels embarrassed, but I’ve made it clear that there’s no shame in something beyond her control. In fact, she often lightens the mood by wearing a clean Pull-Up on her head as a makeshift chef’s hat, which helps ease her embarrassment.
Bedwetting in children over five is referred to as nocturnal enuresis, which can be classified into two types: primary enuresis, when a child has never achieved nighttime dryness, and secondary enuresis, when a child starts wetting the bed again after at least six months of being dry. Up to 10% of seven-year-olds still experience bedwetting, and between 1% and 3% of teenagers do as well. Primary enuresis is usually just a developmental delay in the bladder, kidney, or brain. Some kids may have smaller bladders or simply struggle to wake up when their bladder is full. They just need more time to develop the necessary connections.
If a child with secondary enuresis starts wetting the bed again, it may be worth consulting a doctor, as it could indicate underlying issues such as stress, a urinary tract infection, or neurological concerns. Genetics can also play a role; if one biological parent was a bedwetter, there’s a 50% chance their child will also wet the bed after turning five. If both parents were bedwetters, that percentage rises to 75%. So, before getting frustrated about your child’s nighttime accidents, consider when you finally stopped wetting the bed yourself — they might have inherited that tendency from you!
There are medications available to help manage bedwetting, but they often only provide a temporary solution. When the medication is discontinued, bedwetting typically resumes unless the child has outgrown it. Some parents try bedwetting alarms, which research shows can be effective for about half of families who use them correctly. The key is to get the child up every time the alarm sounds so they can learn to associate it with the need to go.
Our pediatrician also recommended limiting my daughter’s fluid intake in the hour before bedtime, ensuring she uses the bathroom right before sleep, and even waking her up for another bathroom trip before I go to bed. While this may help her bladder learn better control, I haven’t yet been motivated to wake her up once she’s asleep, as she struggles to fall back asleep.
I won’t lie; it’s frustrating to continue buying Pull-Ups and to deal with extra laundry, but I refuse to let my child feel ashamed about being a little behind her siblings and peers. Just like learning to tie shoes or daytime potty training, kids will master nighttime dryness when they’re ready. Since I began sharing my experiences, my worries have lessened. I’ve heard from other parents that their children struggled until they were 10 but eventually outgrew it.
If your child hasn’t stopped wetting the bed by the time they reach their teenage years, consult a healthcare professional, but generally, it’s important to trust the body’s natural development. My advice is to invest in quality waterproof mattress covers and find a solution that works for you and your child. Depending on how your child feels about bedwetting, they may wish to try other methods beyond simply waiting it out. However, if your child is comfortable with wearing a Pull-Up or nighttime underwear, support them in that choice too. Adding pressure or expectations will only exacerbate the situation.
For more information on this topic, check out one of our other blog posts here.
Summary:
Bedwetting, or nocturnal enuresis, is common among children and can be a source of concern for parents. Understanding that each child develops at their own pace can help alleviate worries. Primary enuresis is more prevalent and often resolves with time, while secondary enuresis may warrant medical consultation. Support and reassurance from parents are crucial, and creating a comfortable environment is key to helping children navigate this phase.
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