My son, Jake, has been dating his girlfriend for about a year now. It’s been heartwarming to witness their relationship blossom and see the positive changes in him. He’s become more considerate, empathetic, and appears to be discovering who he truly is.
While part of this transformation is simply him growing up, I like to think that his mother, Sarah, has played a role as well. However, I also recognize that being in a loving relationship with someone he cherishes, who is also his best friend, allows him to experience the joy of being treated with the respect he deserves — and it brings him immense happiness.
Recently, he came home sporting Christmas socks she gifted him. They carved pumpkins together last fall — something he hasn’t wanted to do with me in years. Plus, he’s been keeping his room and bathroom much cleaner, which is a nice bonus.
There are moments when I feel a pang of nostalgia, though. It serves as a reminder that this is likely his final year at home and that soon enough, he’ll be venturing out on his own. Questions race through my mind: Will he still come home for the holidays, or will he prefer to spend them with his girlfriend? How often will I get to see him? When will his life become too busy for me? Could he even move far away?
I strive to stay grounded in the present; he’s still living at home, and I will always be his mother. It’s my responsibility to provide him space as he navigates different phases of his life.
I’m aware that he’s engaging in sexual activity with his girlfriend, and I’m entirely fine with it. While I don’t permit sleepovers since they’re both still in high school, I acknowledge that they will find ways to be intimate, whether I approve or not. The best approach to this reality is to support them openly.
I vividly remember my own experiences when I first became sexually active. I was determined to explore intimacy, no matter where it happened — in the back of a car, in a locker room, or during a walk in the woods. Even if my parents had discouraged it, I would have pursued it anyway.
I know my son is practicing safe sex because I’ve maintained an open dialogue about these topics since he and his siblings were young. I want them to feel comfortable coming to me without fear of judgment or shame; sex is a natural part of life, and it can be enjoyable.
I could either ignore the fact that my son is sexually active with his girlfriend of a year and hope for the best, or I can continue to have conversations about safe practices, respectful treatment of his partner, and foster a space for questions.
Let’s face it — all teenagers are curious about sex. If they don’t come to you with their questions, they’ll likely turn to friends or unreliable online sources. I’d much prefer my children approach me, knowing they can count on me for honest guidance.
I want my 17-year-old son to feel he can discuss any concerns with me without fear of punishment. While he may not share everything (it’s naturally awkward for him), he understands I am here as a support system, and he won’t face repercussions for exploring his sexuality.
I can respect his privacy, choices, and independence without pretending that nothing is happening. I can also maintain boundaries by not allowing overnight visits or extended alone time.
If you believe your teens aren’t exploring their sexuality in some way, you might be mistaken. They could be exchanging suggestive messages or images online without engaging in intercourse or may be participating in other intimate activities.
Like many aspects of life, sexuality is a journey filled with learning and discovery. I believe our teens need our guidance and support as they navigate this time of experimentation. I’ll be there for my son and my daughter. After all, even as a middle-aged woman, I still seek support regarding the complexities of intimacy.
There are classes and resources for numerous subjects in their lives, yet sex education often falls by the wayside. Whether we like it or not, it’s our duty as parents to assist our children in this crucial area.
If you’re interested in more insightful discussions on this topic, check out one of our other blog posts here. Additionally, you can find valuable information on this subject at Make a Mom and Healthline.
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Summary:
In this article, a mother shares her experiences and feelings about her teenage son’s intimate relationship. She emphasizes the importance of open communication regarding sex and relationships, recognizing that while she sets certain boundaries, she also supports his growth and exploration. Understanding that teenagers will seek intimacy, she advocates for a supportive and safe space for discussions about safe sex and respectful relationships.
Keyphrase: Teen intimacy and parental support
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