This holiday season feels unlike any we’ve faced before. With COVID-19 cases and fatalities rising, people globally are being urged to refrain from traveling. Many are making the tough decision to stay apart from family during this time. However, I couldn’t bring myself to make that choice. My father has Alzheimer’s, and the reality is we don’t have the luxury of time this holiday season.
My dad received his official Alzheimer’s diagnosis last autumn. Since my parents are divorced, my siblings and I had to decide whether to place him in a long-term care facility. Thankfully, he was still quite capable of managing daily tasks, so we opted not to move him to a home, and my sister became his primary caregiver.
She enrolled him in a memory care program, organized routines, and hired assistance for when she needed to work or travel. But when the pandemic struck, everything came to a halt. His crucial routines were upended, and my sister became solely responsible for his care.
For those unfamiliar, Alzheimer’s is a degenerative brain disease that gradually destroys brain cells. Initially, it manifests as difficulty recalling new information, but as it progresses, everyday life becomes increasingly challenging. Ultimately, the damage can lead to severe physical limitations, making it incredibly taxing for both the individual and their caregivers.
As summer drew to a close, we made plans for my dad to travel to California for the holidays. This would allow my brother and me precious time with him while giving my sister a much-needed break. However, as fall arrived, COVID-19 numbers began to rise again, heightening our concerns about travel safety.
As the holidays approached, we debated back and forth. We wanted to prioritize what was best for our dad. Just two weeks before Thanksgiving, we had a family discussion and initially decided it was most responsible to keep him home.
After ending that call, I broke down in tears. Both of my grandfathers had suffered from dementia, and I understand all too well how quickly Alzheimer’s can advance. I feared this could be our last holiday with my father as I know him. In the past, I regretted postponing visits with loved ones and missing the chance to say goodbye. I promised myself I would never let that happen again, especially with my dad.
I quickly called my sister back, and it was evident she was also emotional. She yearned for us to be together and was feeling overwhelmed. Thankfully, my brother was on board too.
We took numerous precautions to ensure safety and even consulted a medical expert. We rescheduled their flight to the week before Thanksgiving to avoid crowded planes and purchased a return flight for January. My sister bought KN95 masks and face shields for the flight and sanitized their seating area.
Upon arrival, we all quarantined and waited for negative COVID test results before reuniting. We celebrated a scaled-down Thanksgiving with just immediate family. Since then, we’ve restricted outings and limited visitors.
Admittedly, the decision to take this risk was frightening. However, the fear of losing time with our dad outweighed the risks. I recognize how fortunate we are to have the ability to make these choices, and I am incredibly grateful for the time we shared.
Watching parents age can be challenging for anyone, and the changes can be especially jarring for those with a parent suffering from Alzheimer’s. Some might argue our decision was selfish and irresponsible, and that’s a valid perspective. Yet seeing my three-year-old climb onto my dad’s lap to play with dough reassured me that we made the right choice for our family.
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Summary:
The holiday season presents unique challenges for families, especially when caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s. With COVID-19 concerns complicating travel plans, the author reflects on the importance of cherishing time with their father, who is battling the disease. They navigate the complexities of care, family discussions, and ultimately decide to risk travel for the sake of togetherness, emphasizing the fleeting nature of time with loved ones.
Keyphrase: Alzheimer’s holiday care
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