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No More Rage Cleaning in This House
by Jamie Parker
Updated: March 19, 2021
Originally Published: Dec. 18, 2020
Every now and then, I stumble upon a social media post or article in which a parent expresses their frustration over their family’s lack of participation in house upkeep. Often, this parent refers to their experience as “rage cleaning,” claiming they’ve “finally snapped” and decided to tackle the mess on their own. Typically, it’s a mom who has reached her breaking point with the chaos in her teenager’s room or bathroom (or sometimes both), and she’s taken it upon herself to clean everything. “When will this kid learn?” she wonders, likely with a strained voice and a hint of mania in her eyes.
I suspect that question is rhetorical, and I don’t want to be that person who gives unsolicited advice, but if she were directly asking me, I’d say “never.” As long as she continues to clean up after her kids, they’ll never learn. They will keep expecting her to do what she’s always done because people naturally favor a status quo that benefits them. After all, our kids are human too.
Rage cleaning can sometimes be just that — mindless cleaning done in an attempt to release built-up frustration over life’s challenges. But when it stems from irritation with family members not pulling their weight? That’s a whole other issue. Fellow parents, don’t put yourself through this! Don’t act like you’re out of options. Assign chores to your freeloading kids. Even young children can handle age-appropriate tasks. No one should bear the full responsibility of maintaining a house while others capable of helping are living there too.
I’ve heard some parents excuse their messy teenager’s clutter by saying their child is “too busy” or “stressed.” While I understand that kids today are often overscheduled, especially during a pandemic, they still need to be assigned chores. Chores aren’t merely “helping out”; they’re essential life skills, akin to brushing teeth or tying shoes. Such routines are crucial, especially in the midst of pandemic-related uncertainty, as kids thrive on structure and daily habits.
I’ve certainly engaged in rage cleaning myself, usually when I’m fed up with my own closet filled with clothes I plan to fit into again or the stack of Amazon boxes I’m hoarding “for Christmas,” even though I know I only need a few. My personal clutter drives me to a frenzy. But when it comes to the rest of the house? I share that responsibility with my kids. Their rooms and the bathroom? I don’t touch. I refuse to rage clean other people’s messes, and no other parent should feel obliged to do so either.
Back when my kids were younger, we had a chore chart on the refrigerator. No screen time until chores were completed. Now that they’re older, they know the routine, and if they forget, I remind them from across the house about what needs to be done. Sure, I’ve faced some resistance, but they really don’t enjoy hearing the “you live here, you help” lecture, along with the threat of losing screen time, so usually, they jump up to complete their tasks.
Chores are non-negotiable. If you live in a house, you help clean it, period. It’s just my kids and me in this small home, and despite the size making cleaning easier, it doesn’t exempt my children from helping. I expect them to clean, and now that they’re 14 and 10, I also expect them to do it well. After they clean their bathroom, I “inspect” it, calling them back to fix any missed spots. If they sweep or vacuum and leave areas untouched, I make them redo it. For a long time, my son would place just-washed pots and pans right-side up instead of upside-down to dry properly. I always called him back to correct it because I won’t do his chores for him. I refuse to send him into the world without the knowledge that pots dry best upside-down, leaving his future partner questioning what went wrong with him.
I promise I’m not as strict as I may sound — I let minor details slide if the overall job is well done. My goal is for my kids to put in a genuine effort and learn how to clean a house thoroughly before they become adults. I won’t let them slack off, allowing my anger to build until I feel compelled to “rage clean.”
Does this mean my home is spotless? Absolutely not. We deal with clutter, dust, and laundry baskets that sometimes sit for days before folding, just like any other family. But it does mean my house is generally livable and tidy enough that I’m not driven to the point of rage cleaning. I want to see my fellow parents avoid feeling like the burden of cleaning rests solely on their shoulders or that their families are taking advantage of them.
If your family’s mess is making you frustrated, motivate them to clean! Create a task list to make it less overwhelming for your novice helpers. Changing the WiFi password can be a great motivator. No one should feel pushed to rage-clean because of family members who don’t do their fair share. Start the shift from rage-cleaning to rage-delegating. We have to begin somewhere, right?
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Probable Search Queries:
- How to get kids to do chores?
- Tips for managing household cleaning with kids.
- What is rage cleaning?
- Assigning age-appropriate chores to children.
- Balancing parenting and household responsibilities.
Summary:
The article discusses the issue of parents, particularly mothers, feeling overwhelmed by household cleaning due to their family’s lack of involvement. It emphasizes the importance of assigning chores to children, regardless of age, to promote responsibility and basic life skills. The author shares personal experiences of rage cleaning and provides practical strategies for engaging kids in household upkeep. Ultimately, the piece advocates for a balanced approach where all family members contribute to maintaining a clean home, thereby preventing feelings of frustration and resentment.
Keyphrase: rage cleaning solutions
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