From The Confessional: Many Moms Experience Traumatic Births

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Traumatic childbirth experiences are more prevalent than many realize. While no labor is without its challenges, a significant number of mothers endure trauma during the birth of their children. Research from the Prevention and Treatment of Traumatic Childbirth (PATTCH) indicates that between 25-34% of women report their births as traumatic.

In our Confessional, several moms opened up about their harrowing experiences, ranging from truly frightening events to feelings of being unheard and unsupported by medical staff.

“It’s been over 7 years, but I still want to give a big thanks to the nurse who told me, ‘don’t scream,’ and an even bigger one to the doctor who failed to administer my epidural,” shared a mom reflecting on her experience.

Another confessor expressed conflicting emotions about having a second child, grappling with the fear of a repeat traumatic labor and the lack of support during recovery.

“I experienced 4th degree tearing with my first daughter and still struggle with both anal and urinary incontinence. The labor was absolutely traumatic. Now my partner is pushing for a second child. I’ll divorce you over this! There will NEVER be another baby from this body!” another mom vented her frustrations.

Self-advocacy during labor can be incredibly challenging, with many parents feeling the need to fight for their own needs while in distress. Unfortunately, some healthcare providers may become desensitized to the fears and struggles of those in labor.

One mother shared, “I’ve always been pro-choice, but my PTSD from the delivery made me even more so. Adoption wouldn’t have changed what I went through, and I will NEVER fully recover from it.”

Many mothers expressed deep love for their children, yet they also feel resentment towards the trauma involved in bringing them into the world. “I wish I could have adopted my kids instead,” one mom confessed, revealing the pain that lingers long after childbirth.

PATTCH defines a traumatic birth as one where the mother, father, or any witness believes that the mother’s or baby’s life was at risk or that there was a serious threat to their emotional or physical integrity. Sadly, some individuals develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as a result of their traumatic experiences.

The U.S. has a long way to go in ensuring safe and healthy births. With the highest maternal death rate among developed countries, more American women are facing pregnancy-related complications than ever before.

“I think I still have PTSD from my horrible childbirth experience; it’s been 2 years,” shared one mom. Another expressed her fears of childbirth, stating, “Pregnant with my second, and the fear just hit me that I could die in childbirth and leave my precious 2-year-old behind.”

Moms often face misunderstandings about their choices, with some believing they are avoiding children for superficial reasons. “People think I don’t want kids to maintain my figure. It’s not that at all—I’ve just always somehow known that I could die in childbirth.”

Perhaps if medical professionals and lawmakers truly listened to these mothers instead of relying solely on fellow moms for support, there might be a change in the narrative.

If you’re interested in exploring more about pregnancy and childbirth experiences, check out this other blog post. For those looking to understand more about fertility options, Cleveland Clinic’s excellent resource is a great place to start, and for those seeking information on home insemination, Make a Mom is an authority on the subject.

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In summary, the emotional toll of childbirth can be profound, with many mothers sharing their stories of trauma and fear. The need for better support and understanding within the maternal healthcare system is crucial for ensuring safe and healthy births.

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