There is a lot of emotional weight surrounding names for Asian Americans, and indeed for all individuals of color. Often, it’s the struggle white individuals have with pronouncing our names, the questioning of whether our “American” names are our true names, or the feeling of having more “acceptable” names imposed upon us. For many, that awkward pause before someone mispronounces our names serves as a constant reminder of our outsider status.
We can feel invisible, unwanted, and foreign. The reality that our names are so often mangled suggests we don’t truly matter. While I’ve rarely faced this issue myself, I refuse to put my children through such indignities. Some parents opt to honor their heritage through their children’s names; I’ve chosen to provide my kids with the advantages associated with my husband’s distinctly German surname.
Unconscious bias about names is a real issue, and those who bear common white names have often benefited from it for ages. If my children’s German surname can alleviate even a bit of the prejudice they may encounter as multiracial individuals, then I will gladly give it to them. Especially since their appearance might immediately label them as “other” throughout their lives. This decision is one way I can shield my children from the systemic realities of white supremacy.
Moreover, why should there be an expectation that my children have ethnic names? Their appearance shouldn’t dictate the names they carry. The idea that ethnic names are somehow less valid or American is simply wrong.
Choosing traditional names doesn’t erase my children’s rich identities. They were born in America, just like my husband and I. They are people of color and American — they are both, not one or the other. My kids have the opportunity to embrace their ethnic names and the culture surrounding them, and they can also engage with the diverse naming practices within the Asian American community, where many give their children both an American name and one that reflects their heritage.
It’s baffling that some people believe they can claim names as their own, especially when many Western names have roots in the multi-ethnic Byzantine Empire or Hebrew traditions.
My children possess both Chinese and American names; it’s a simple concept. They respond to both without confusion, just like I learned to navigate my own two names. I didn’t feel the need to choose a distinctly Asian name to represent their multifaceted identities. If they one day prefer to use their Chinese name or a different one, I will support that choice.
Some advocate for making others pronounce names correctly, and I wholeheartedly agree with this stance. If people can say Tchaikovsky and Guggenheim without issue, surely they can learn to pronounce names from other cultures. But why should my children’s beautiful Chinese names be mispronounced by those who struggle with them?
All of their names are valid. We are all just trying to thrive in a society built on the falsehoods of white supremacy and patriarchy. I resent the notion that my children’s names must conform to someone else’s idea of what is sufficiently “Asian.” There are multiple truths in the naming process, and we can honor one without diminishing the other.
Regardless of their names, my kids are undeniably Asian and American. They are enough simply by being who they are.
If you want to read more on this subject, check out this post on our blog that discusses the complexities of identity and naming conventions. Additionally, for guidance on your own journey, this resource offers excellent insights into family building options.
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Summary:
The article explores the emotional complexities surrounding names for Asian Americans, emphasizing the challenges of cultural identity and the decision to give children names that fit into mainstream American society. The author discusses the weight of name bias and the societal expectations around ethnic names, while affirming that their children’s identities are multifaceted and valid regardless of the names they carry. Ultimately, the piece advocates for the acceptance of diverse naming practices and the need to combat systemic biases.
Keyphrase: Asian American naming conventions
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