Growing up in a traditional religious environment, I was instilled with the belief that my body was sacred and needed to be covered. By the age of six, I was well-acquainted with the concept of “modesty.” To me, modesty meant ensuring my dresses reached my knees, perhaps skimming the top if I felt a hint of rebellion. My shoulders had to be covered, and I was to avoid anything too revealing or snug. Modesty was a reflection of my dedication to my faith, and I felt responsible for preventing impure thoughts in the men around me.
As I transitioned away from my faith in adulthood, I found myself reevaluating many beliefs, yet modesty remained a complex concept I couldn’t easily categorize. It didn’t fit neatly into any box labeled keep, toss, or donate. It lingered in an ambiguous space, challenging my understanding of self-worth.
Each time I contemplated wearing something a bit shorter than what I had been taught was appropriate, a whirlwind of thoughts flooded my mind:
- What will others think of my outfit?
- Will they judge me based on how much of my legs are showing?
- Am I making poor choices?
- Does this diminish my worth?
The realization that my children might internalize these thoughts kept me awake at night. I feared my daughters might judge themselves harshly, and my sons might evaluate girls based on their clothing choices. I was determined to break this cycle of modesty-related anxiety.
Questioning why modesty had become intertwined with my self-worth was a difficult journey. This mindset was a product of purity culture prevalent in many orthodox communities. I began to ask myself: How can I move beyond the teachings that tie my value to what I wear? How can I foster a healthy understanding of modesty for my children?
Gradually, new affirmations emerged in my mind:
- I am not defined by my legs.
- My hemline does not determine my worth.
- I am a complete individual, separate from my clothing choices.
This year, I reflected on my growth. I wore a mid-thigh dress that showcased my legs and complemented it with heels that highlighted my calves—something I would never have done in the past, especially for family photos. Yet, I did it.
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In summary, my upbringing in an orthodox religion shaped my views on modesty and self-worth. Through reflection and growth, I’ve learned to embrace my individuality beyond physical appearances, and I strive to model this mindset for my children.
Keyphrase: Rethinking Modesty After Orthodox Upbringing
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