I’ve been seeing a lot of memes lately that say things like, “I’ll remain friends with you whether you voted for Trump or Biden…” and it really frustrates me. The truth is, these two positions are not equivalent. Joe Biden may not be perfect, but he is significantly better. Donald Trump embodies racism, misogyny, and xenophobia. If you can still support him after everything that has transpired over the last four years, then I have to question our friendship. Supporting Trump suggests a lack of care for my well-being. While some people might not mind how their friends vote, I am not one of them.
I know some friends who voted for Trump in 2016, and I suspect others did the same this year. One of them is someone I’ve known for years, and I was genuinely horrified when I found out. From the very beginning, Trump has made his beliefs clear, and if someone I know can back that, it raises serious doubts about our relationship. For me, it was a dealbreaker. As a queer Black woman from a low-income background, I am all too aware that this administration seeks to marginalize people like me. I cannot maintain a friendship with anyone who even hints at supporting that agenda.
Growing up in Staten Island, I predominantly had white friends. While I know that for some of them, I may be one of the few Black friends they have, I often feel like I’m viewed as the “good” Black person. I’ve been told I’m “articulate” (which I find infuriating), I have a college degree, and my parents have always been involved in my life. However, just because I have a degree doesn’t mean that I’m immune to the issues that affect Black Americans. If a police officer decides to stop me, my accomplishments won’t matter; all they need to see is my skin color to make a judgment.
While I believe none of my friends are overtly racist, I also recognize that I can’t be around them all the time. Just because they don’t make racist jokes in my presence doesn’t mean they don’t do so when I’m not there. They might not use our friendship to challenge other white people’s racist remarks, but I know they hear them. Friends from Staten Island likely know Trump supporters; the area has leaned red in both the 2016 and 2020 elections. My friends may not realize that silence can be seen as complicity. It’s not enough to simply disagree with racist comments; they need to speak out against them.
Some people require a personal reason to oppose Trump and his ideology. Although I’m uncomfortable being someone’s token Black friend, I hope they reflect on me when forming their reasons. We should strive for a safer and better country for everyone we care about. Whether people want to confront it or not, the president has shown himself to be a white supremacist. His repeated failure to denounce white supremacy is telling. During the debates, he told the Proud Boys, a known white supremacist group, to “stand down and stand by.” How can I maintain a friendship with someone who supports that?
Voting for Trump over any issue—be it taxes or abortion—means endorsing his entire platform. He is one person in power. For friends voting for him to get lower taxes, they’re accepting their extra cash alongside racism. I may not practice Islam, but I have an Arabic name. How can I guarantee my safety if he starts targeting Muslims? I can’t. Supporting his anti-abortion stance also means turning a blind eye to his xenophobia.
Let’s not forget that he has packed the Supreme Court with conservative judges eager to overturn Roe v. Wade and marriage equality. As someone who has known I’m queer since I was young and who fell in love with a woman before the pandemic, my fear is that we may not be able to have a legal marriage. A friend even told me that while she voted for Biden, her husband voted for Trump. You can be sure he won’t be invited to our wedding. You can’t say you’re happy for me while simultaneously voting to strip away my rights.
None of my friends are aware of the anxiety I’ve felt this election season. As I see them sharing their voting moments, I can’t help but wonder, “Did they vote for Trump?” They remain silent about their support, which leaves me anxious. I want to trust that they’re making the right choices, but without clear signals, I’m left fearing the worst. It’s painful to think that people who claim to love me could vote to take away my rights. The stark reality is that white people often vote in their own self-interest.
Four years ago, I might have been more forgiving towards friends who supported Trump. But now? Absolutely not. If you understand the fears of marginalized communities and still choose to support that man, then you are not my friend. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me again? It’s time to part ways.
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In summary, the author expresses deep concern over friends who support Trump, highlighting the disconnect between personal values and political choices. For them, supporting Trump implies a disregard for marginalized communities, making it difficult to maintain friendships with those who do. The narrative emphasizes the importance of aligning personal relationships with shared values, especially regarding issues of race, gender, and rights.
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