Navigating relationships during the pandemic has forced many of us to reevaluate who we trust. I have a friend, Alex, who I know takes safety seriously. He’s unmasked, but I trust that he’s made informed choices about where he goes. Unlike others, I don’t see many friends anymore; we’ve distanced ourselves from certain family members while maintaining close connections with those we deem responsible. The core issue? Who can we trust not to misrepresent their pandemic-related decisions?
We distanced ourselves from a relative after she shared a story about hanging out with a friend. The narrative kept changing—from wearing a mask in a car to outdoor dining—until we discovered she had posted photos of brunch with that same friend on social media. We expressed our concerns and decided to pause our contact until she quarantined. Ultimately, we couldn’t trust her to be honest about her precautions. I told her directly, “I just don’t believe that you’ve been as careful as you claim.”
When we finally saw her again, she casually claimed she hadn’t been out, even though we knew she had recently traveled. She removed her mask without concern, disregarding our insistence that safety measures were in place for her protection as much as ours. “I’m not going to get it,” she said, as if that was a valid argument against the realities of virus transmission.
Why We Choose Our Circles Carefully
My social circle has shrunk significantly. I still meet with Alex, who has always been honest with me. We’ve been friends through thick and thin, sharing everything from life’s joys to struggles. I can trust him completely. However, I’ve had to step back from other friendships because their safety practices don’t align with my own. One friend works at an open college, while another is involved in political campaigns. They’re good people, but their realities don’t match my comfort level.
We do maintain connections with my husband’s family, who have been incredibly cautious since the onset of the pandemic. They even went months without seeing their grandchildren. Our families have established trust, allowing us to gather safely after quarantining together. In contrast, our other relative feels betrayed for not being included in gatherings, but her dishonesty has damaged her credibility.
The Consequences of Dishonesty
Each of us has a different threshold for risk, but lying about your pandemic activities is particularly harmful. It’s not just a breach of trust; it’s a decision that affects someone else’s health. When you misrepresent your actions, you’re effectively taking away another person’s ability to make informed choices for their well-being.
For example, my husband suffers from severe asthma and has an autoimmune condition. If he contracts COVID-19, the outcome could be dire. I refuse to gamble with his health for someone else’s social plans. When you choose to lie, you’re making that decision for me, which is fundamentally unfair and selfish.
I have friends who have made different choices, and while I may not agree with them, I respect their honesty. They’ve been upfront about their social interactions, allowing me to make my own choices about engaging with them. That’s what true friendship looks like.
Embrace Honesty During the Pandemic
Be transparent about your decisions. If you’re like Emily, who recently shared with The Washington Post that she’s hosting a large Thanksgiving gathering, it’s crucial to be forthright. She expressed her concern for her grandmother’s loneliness, and I can empathize with that sentiment. As long as she plans to isolate afterward and take precautions, I would respect her choice—even if I wouldn’t participate.
However, if you misrepresent your activities, I will no longer feel comfortable around you. Lying about the pandemic compromises not only trust but also the ability to make informed choices about health and safety. If you choose dishonesty, don’t expect to see me anytime soon.
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Summary:
The pandemic has reshaped our social interactions, prompting a reevaluation of trust among friends and family. The author shares personal experiences of distancing from dishonest relatives while maintaining connections with those who prioritize safety. Emphasizing the importance of transparency, the article stresses that misleading others about one’s pandemic choices can have serious consequences, stripping away their agency and compromising health. True friendship thrives on honesty, especially in uncertain times.
Keyphrase: pandemic choices honesty
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