My son embarked on his high school journey this year. I had envisioned his first year filled with both academic challenges and exhilarating social experiences. We are lucky to have a fantastic public school nearby, renowned for its rigorous curriculum and various extracurricular activities. I pictured him groggy at the bus stop, shoulders hunched and hands buried in his pockets, eagerly awaiting the adventures of high school. I imagined him personalizing his locker with his artwork, spending late nights studying for his Algebra class, and shuffling through flashcards for Spanish vocabulary. I wanted him to strive for excellence in his academics, especially since maintaining a high GPA in Florida allows for free tuition at state universities. My son, too, was excited—perhaps with a hint of nervousness—about starting this new chapter.
However, the reality of his first year has been far from what we anticipated. His bedroom has transformed into his classroom, his computer now serves as the whiteboard, and communication with teachers occurs via email. We considered sending him to a physical school, but after discussions with his father, we decided that virtual schooling was the best option for us. Fortunately, both his father and I can provide supervision, whether he’s at my house or his dad’s.
I stepped into this new schooling arrangement believing I understood the adjustments we were making. Sure, the location and visuals had changed, but I assumed school remained school. I still expected him to work diligently and keep his scholarship goals in sight. With virtual learning, assignments and tests can be repeated up to three times, which I marketed as a fantastic opportunity for him to enhance his grades. In this so-called new normal, I thought we could still aim for the same objectives.
I was mistaken. As the semester progressed, my son began to lag behind. His grades fell. My initial enthusiasm for revisiting assignments to boost his scores became unfeasible due to a lack of time. I found myself balancing the need to discipline him for being sidetracked by YouTube against understanding that learning in front of a screen is vastly different from traditional classroom settings. At one point, I contemplated revoking his gaming privileges—the only social outlet he had left—until he caught up with his studies. My frustration mounted as I watched him struggle to focus and allow distractions to take over.
During a routine medical appointment, my son confided in the doctor about his challenges with school. He expressed his feelings in a way he hadn’t with me. “It feels so different,” he told the doctor, who replied, “That’s because it is different. Nothing about this is normal, so we shouldn’t expect it to be. We need to adjust our expectations.” This was the reassurance we both needed. The doctor offered advice for boosting my son’s focus and adjusted his ADHD medication timing to help during those crucial afternoon hours. Most importantly, he reminded us that none of this is typical.
Later, I had a heartfelt conversation with my son, who articulated how difficult it is to concentrate on words on a screen compared to a teacher actively engaging the class. He shared his frustrations about how the pandemic has robbed him—and so many others—of a normal school experience. While he remains committed to our virtual learning plan, he misses the in-person interaction he once took for granted.
As I connect with other parents, I realize many are navigating similar challenges, regardless of their chosen educational paths. Kids attending physical schools are required to wear masks all day, which can be uncomfortable and distracting. Some find themselves quarantined due to exposure, and many lack the necessary resources at home to seamlessly transition between in-person and online learning. A school-provided laptop is useless without a stable internet connection. Countless obstacles are hindering our children’s education.
It’s vital that we all recalibrate our expectations—of our children, teachers, and the learning outcomes for this year. Grades cannot take precedence right now. Standardized testing should be suspended, and teachers need to be evaluated with a more humane lens, taking into account the unprecedented challenges they face. What standard could possibly apply to a teacher juggling in-person and virtual students simultaneously? Without a framework for assessing “good teaching” in this context, it’s unreasonable to impose traditional performance metrics. Let students do their best, prioritizing mental health over grades. Allow teachers the freedom to innovate and utilize resources that keep students engaged. The pandemic already imposes enough stress without layering unattainable standards of “normal” on top.
If you’re worried that your child is falling behind, you’re not alone—I share that concern. But the truth is, no one is truly falling behind; we are all navigating this together. Take a deep breath. Be kind to yourself, your children, their teachers, and the school administration. Offer support or simply a listening ear when possible. We are all doing our best in these trying times, and the expectations we once held for this school year, regardless of grade level, are unlikely to align with reality. For now, it’s perfectly acceptable for that to be sufficient.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the unique challenges faced by students and parents during an atypical school year. It emphasizes the importance of adjusting expectations regarding academic performance and mental health in light of the ongoing pandemic. Families are encouraged to be compassionate towards themselves and each other as they navigate these unprecedented circumstances, acknowledging that the traditional educational framework is not applicable in the current situation.
Keyphrase: Adjusting Expectations in Education
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