In recent weeks, I’ve taken on as much work as possible to prepare for the upcoming holidays. As a single mom, it’s essential for me to provide my children with a joyful Christmas while allowing myself some time to relax during the festivities. My mornings are spent waking up early to get a substantial amount of work done before my kids require assistance with their school assignments.
When I take breaks, I find myself emptying the dishwasher, ordering groceries, or baking the cookies my son has been eagerly requesting. Just last week, I had to pause a conference call because my son accidentally cut his thumb and might have needed stitches. Meanwhile, my daughter seemed off and spent several afternoons crying in her room, prompting me to check on her frequently.
Some days blur together, and I forget to take breaks to eat, which inevitably catches up with me later. I understand that if I don’t focus on my tasks, I’ll be burning the midnight oil to finish everything, knowing that another day with its own demands is right around the corner.
I used to identify as a stay-at-home mom. Even when I started working part-time from home, I still referred to myself as a SAHM. If someone pointed out, “But you’re a writer,” I would downplay it by saying, “Yes, but it’s just part-time.” After my divorce, I put in the effort to turn my writing into a full-time career, but without the ability to hire help, I was still expected to manage everything like before. With three young kids at home, I transitioned into being a full-time work-from-home mom.
And let me tell you, there’s a significant difference. Working from home has been empowering, rewarding, and (mostly) convenient, providing a boost to my self-esteem. During these challenging times, I feel fortunate to have the opportunity to work remotely. However, it’s undeniably tougher than being a stay-at-home mom, especially now when many of us are balancing online learning and professional responsibilities simultaneously.
This isn’t a competition; I’m merely sharing my experience of having done both. Balancing kids and a job at home is far more challenging than just managing kids alone (which is no small feat). When your home becomes your office, distractions are everywhere. You can’t help but notice the overflowing trash can, the laundry piling up, and the dirty dishes, making it difficult to separate work from your personal life.
Even if you set designated times for your kids to come to you or arrange for help to keep them fed and safe, your presence is always felt. They recognize that you’re home, and you can’t escape the responsibilities that come with that. Sometimes, they need you, regardless of what work you have on your plate.
You learn to maximize your productive moments (for me, that’s in the morning after exercising), but unexpected interruptions are a regular occurrence. A few weeks ago, my daughter was unwell and throwing up, and before that, my son struggled with a finance paper that required my assistance.
Being a work-from-home mom means mastering the art of juggling. I’m not talking about balance—kids and life don’t recognize that concept, so it gets tossed aside daily. Working from home as a mom means you can pull yourself together for a video call only to feel overwhelmed as soon as you’re done since everything around you can spiral out of control in a matter of minutes.
You become acutely aware of the multitude of tasks you have to manage—your job, the household chaos, your family’s needs, dinner plans, and which child needs help right now—everything is right in front of you. Working from home also means that you’re easily overstimulated by any knock at the door or an accident (like my son’s thumb injury), which can derail your entire day.
Despite being home, your family still relies on you for the same things because they don’t understand why you can’t just drop everything when you’re around. I often find myself telling my kids daily that I need some peace and quiet, that I can’t just take them out to eat at random times, or that I can’t allow them to hog all the WiFi when I’m working because, frankly, my job has to take precedence over their Netflix binge.
As much as I try to draw a line between work and home life, there are countless moments when that distinction blurs. You’re juggling everything, doing your utmost in your career while also fulfilling your role as a mother.
I genuinely love my work and wouldn’t trade my financial independence for anything at this stage in my life. However, this is no easy task, especially for divorced or solo parents. Every day begins with uncertainty regarding how it will unfold, knowing you have a mountain of responsibilities to tackle with people you love getting in your way, and somehow you’ve got to manage it all.
Because that’s what work-from-home moms do.
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