When I was a child, I longed to have my ears pierced more than anything. Unfortunately, my father was against it. While my friends flaunted their earrings, I resorted to crafting fake ones from toy parts or metal bits I found in my dad’s toolbox, which looked more convincing than the clip-ons available in the ’80s.
Eventually, I got to pierce my ears, but I was only allowed to wear tiny studs—no hoops or dangly earrings. In the 8th grade, I dreamed of a chic asymmetrical haircut that was short on one side and longer on the other. My parents, however, restricted me to shoulder-length hair. I also wanted to wear distressed jeans, shorts, and makeup, but those were all met with firm refusals. I ended up sneaking makeup into my backpack to apply on the bus, only to be caught by the driver who informed my parents. Eventually, I had to resort to changing in the girls’ bathroom and removing the makeup before getting home.
It wasn’t until my parents divorced during my high school years that my mother relaxed her grip on my appearance. Until then, I felt immense anxiety; it was my body, my life, and it had no bearing on them. They seemed more concerned about how I presented myself than my actual well-being.
So, when my daughter expressed her desire for a nose piercing, I took her without hesitation. A few years ago, she wanted a slit shaved in her eyebrow—again, I supported her choice. At the salon, the stylist voiced her disdain for the look, disregarding my daughter’s wishes. My inner child, long suppressed, surged forth—I defended my daughter’s right to express herself, telling the stylist that everyone has their own style.
My daughter has since adorned herself with multiple ear piercings and has experimented with different hair colors like black, blue, and red. She even had pink highlights last summer and has worn glitter under her eyes, fake eyelashes, and vibrant eyeshadow regularly. Recently, she asked to get her belly button pierced, and after saving up her money, I took her for the appointment. We celebrated with a Diet Coke afterward, and she was overjoyed.
I believe in fostering independence in my children, so while I expect them to ask permission for certain things—like sleepovers or using my credit card for online shopping—they don’t need my approval for body modifications. Of course, I acknowledge the importance of age restrictions for permanent changes, like tattoos, which require thoughtful consideration. But for non-permanent changes, I encourage self-expression.
This philosophy extends to my sons as well; they’ve painted their nails without hesitation, and my oldest recently surprised me by coming home with both ears pierced. He didn’t feel he needed to ask for permission; he just went for it.
With three teenagers in my home, I never know what style they’ll choose next. But I embrace this unpredictability, knowing it’s their right to express themselves how they see fit. I refuse to stifle their happiness over something as trivial as appearance, as I am aware they will find a way to express themselves regardless.
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In summary, I firmly believe that teenagers should have the freedom to make choices about their own bodies, including piercings and other forms of self-expression. By allowing my children to explore their individuality, I’m fostering their independence and self-confidence.
Keyphrase: Allowing Teenagers Freedom of Expression
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