On my 17th birthday, I stepped out of the DMV, squinting against the late November sun, searching for my mom. She was parked and waiting as I completed the much-anticipated written driver’s test. Having successfully passed my road test—proving I could parallel park like a pro—the written exam was the final hurdle between me and the exhilarating freedom of driving through my small town on Friday nights. I studied harder for this than for any school subject because I craved the independence that driving promised. My efforts paid off, and on that unforgettable day, I passed with shining results.
As I climbed into our aging family station wagon, bubbling with excitement, I shared my good news with Mom. To my surprise, she handed me a small, wrapped box. I eagerly tore off the bow and paper, revealing a set of car keys nestled on a soft cushion inside. Excitement surged through me, and I thought I was on the brink of a new car waiting at home. But as I squealed with delight, my mom chuckled and clarified, “Sweetheart, those are the keys to my station wagon. You’re welcome to borrow it anytime!”
Talk about a birthday buzzkill.
Thus began my journey of shuttling my brother and me to school and cruising the backroads in our family’s well-worn vehicle. If I was fortunate enough to borrow it on a Saturday night, I would awkwardly park it beside my friends’ shiny new sports cars at the movie theater. Nothing screams “cool” quite like arriving at a school dance in your family’s old wagon.
High school was an awkward time for me in several ways. While my parents eventually assisted me in buying a new car for college, their support only extended so far. They tucked a payment book into my graduation card, along with a congratulatory note and a few bills to help me get started.
At the time, I thought my parents were terrible gift-givers, but looking back, I realize they imparted an invaluable lesson. When I faced the reality of rent, car payments, and insurance costs, I learned the hard way about financial responsibility. There were countless moments when I felt nauseous watching my bank balance flirt with zero every time a bill was due.
But the day I called the bank for my final payment amount felt monumental. I may not have mastered budgeting in my 20s, but my parents instilled in me that significant purchases aren’t just handed over at 16. You have to work for them, earn them, and truly value them.
Now, as my son approaches his Sweet 16, he’s about to discover that same lesson from his father and me. We’ve had candid discussions about his expectations, clearly stating that he won’t be getting a car to zoom out of our driveway on weekends. We emphasized that while we won’t be financing his driving adventures, he’s welcome to borrow our family vehicles whenever he wants to take a friend out.
Instead of gifting him a car, we’ve guided him in mapping out a savings plan to eventually buy his own. We’ve discussed age-appropriate odd jobs and encouraged him to seek part-time employment when the time is right. It’s essential for him to understand that while having a car can be exciting, it’s not an absolute necessity. Moreover, we’ve made it clear that his academics take precedence over any money-making schemes. No need for a car if it means neglecting his studies, right?
Our decision not to buy our son a car isn’t solely based on my teenage experiences. Yes, I appreciate the financial lessons from my past, but it’s also about pushing back against today’s culture of instant gratification. Today’s kids are accustomed to immediate access to information and products. They are the One-Click Generation, with everything they desire at their fingertips. The days of waiting anxiously for a phone call or a favorite song to air are long gone.
When my son finally passes his driver’s test, he’ll receive a set of keys to our family cars. The only new vehicle waiting in the driveway will be the one he purchases for himself. If it takes him until he’s 26 to save up, so be it. At least I won’t have to shove on pants on a Saturday night to rescue him in our family truckster—I’ll be happy to share!
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Summary
As my son approaches his 16th birthday, my husband and I are preparing him for the reality that he won’t be getting a new car. Through open discussions about financial responsibility and encouraging him to save, we aim to teach him valuable lessons about earning big-ticket items and prioritizing his education. While the world today promotes instant gratification, we believe it’s essential for him to understand the value of hard work and patience.