I can’t be the only one whose house ends up looking like a toy explosion by the end of the week, with remnants of toys, baby dolls, clothes, school papers, and snack wrappers scattered everywhere. Each Monday, I start with a somewhat tidy home and a hopeful attitude, but the whirlwind of the week leaves behind a trail of chaos. We manage to keep up with the dishes and trash, but the rest is just part of life.
Every weekend, my partner straps our little girl to his back with one of our many baby carriers, assigns age-appropriate chores to our older kids, and everyone pitches in to restore order to our home. I usually join in, though sometimes I take that time to catch up on my writing. While my kids see me handling the daily upkeep, my husband takes charge of the big weekend clean-up.
This weekend, my oldest son handed me his child-sized baby doll carrier and asked if he could wear his baby doll while tidying his room, just like Daddy carries Amelia. For hours, my husband wore our daughter, and my son had “Henry Jr.” strapped to his chest as they cleaned, played, and shared lunch.
Depending on who you ask, this isn’t how many expect a seven-year-old boy to play. Many baby dolls are marketed toward girls. I’m thankful that in my circles, traditional gender roles are fading. Progress is being made, and it matters.
However, some people still cling to outdated views. By my son’s age, many boys have been told to “man up” or “stop acting like a girl” whenever they show emotion or interest in activities deemed “feminine.” In some circles, my son’s gentleness with his baby dolls might still be considered odd.
Fortunately, he doesn’t find that notion offensive. He has never been taught that femininity is lesser than masculinity. He doesn’t equate softness with weakness.
Henry is naturally nurturing; he will spend an hour entertaining his baby sister. When his younger brother is upset, Henry comforts him with a gentle voice and a warm embrace. He loves playing animal doctor and hosting pet adoption days. He even pretends to be a baby-wearing dad cleaning the house while his wife is busy.
He enjoys rough play and doesn’t shy away from dirt. He laughs at silly noises, plays in the mud, and can talk about dinosaurs for hours. To him, these activities aren’t confined to a gender. He simply enjoys what he likes.
When asked about his future, he shares aspirations of becoming a paleontologist or a deep-sea diving scientist. And always, he wants to be a dad. He frequently discusses his future family, just as I did at his age. What I find beautiful is that he often expresses a desire to be a stay-at-home dad.
If that aspiration remains, I hope he has the opportunity to fulfill it. Being a stay-at-home parent has always been my dream, and I’m living it now. I wish the same for him.
At some point, it may make emotional or financial sense for one of my sons to be the stay-at-home parent while their partner works. I want our children to see this as a valid and admirable choice rather than a sign of weakness or failure. Fatherhood, even as the primary role, does not diminish a man’s identity. Stay-at-home fatherhood is a vital and respected role, just like motherhood, and I hope we’ve laid the groundwork for that understanding.
People often find it charming when a little girl learns practical skills from her dad, like changing brake pads. Remember the adorable Hayden Panettiere cheering on football players in “Remember the Titans”? That was widely celebrated.
I think it’s equally heartwarming when boys embrace roles traditionally assigned to women, especially when they have a wonderful dad showing them the way. My partner isn’t perfect; we drive each other crazy at times. But he is an incredible father, having worn our babies more than I ever have. He’s all in, wanting to be present for every moment.
It may be uncommon for a young boy to wear a baby doll in a carrier while cleaning his room, and perhaps not typical for a child to prioritize fatherhood above all else. Yet, it’s perfectly normal for a son to want to emulate his dad, especially when his dad embodies kindness and joy.
For my boys, caring for the home and nurturing little ones is part of what makes a man. Since birth, a man has lovingly cared for them. I hope they continue to embrace who they can become as they grow. I pray they never shy away from their gentler sides.
The world has no shortage of rugged masculinity; it could always use more kind, gentle souls. If that’s the kind of man my son becomes, I’m excited to support him in nurturing that compassion.
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Summary:
The author reflects on her son’s love for his baby doll and the importance of nurturing behaviors in boys. She emphasizes the need to break down gender stereotypes, advocating for a world where emotional expression and caregiving are valued in all genders. The piece highlights the positive influence of a caring father figure and the hope that future generations will embrace a wider range of identities and roles.
Keyphrase: nurturing behavior in boys
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