The Impact of Silence: When White Friends and Family Stay Quiet on Racial Justice

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By: Jamie Rivers

Every day, I wake up eager to embrace my roles as a writer, creator, and mother of four Black children. Lately, my focus has shifted heavily toward anti-racism work. While I am thankful for this opportunity, it often feels burdensome, requiring extensive research and significant emotional investment. The weight of this responsibility is magnified by the knowledge that every action—or inaction—affects my children profoundly.

In recent weeks, amidst our shared feelings of confusion, anger, and determination, a deep sadness has emerged. Some of our white friends and family members have chosen to remain silent regarding the injustices faced by individuals like Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, and Breonna Taylor. Their social media feeds continue to showcase joyful family moments, engaging memes, and uplifting stories, highlighting their online presence while ignoring crucial issues. We are acutely aware of who is using their voice and who is opting for silence, which feels like a betrayal to our family.

I find myself actively keeping track of who among our close circle chooses to affirm that Black Lives Matter and who does not. Their silence feels personal. If they claim to cherish my children and enjoy our family’s moments, why aren’t they standing up for justice?

Recently, I spoke with several fellow Black mothers, and they echoed similar sentiments. They, too, have been observing which friends show support and which ones post “All Lives Matter,” display the thin blue line flag, or express support for the president without acknowledging the plight of Black lives. Even worse are those who attempt to stay neutral by saying nothing at all.

Choosing to remain silent is, in effect, supporting oppression. Inaction is a form of action. I want to remind everyone that silence equates to compliance. It’s a troubling message in a time when we need solidarity. Growing up, I learned that witnessing someone being harmed and choosing to do nothing makes you complicit. In the current fight against racism, there is no room for bystanders. White individuals must either be allies or inadvertently uphold oppression.

Those who cling to neutrality often do so driven by their own discomfort. They feel threatened by the shifting dynamics of attention and have a hard time accepting that their white privilege is being challenged. Their discomfort is not the issue; the real problem lies in their unwillingness to confront the truth. I urge anyone feeling uneasy to engage with the material, learn, and actively seek ways to help. Racism won’t disappear simply because white individuals wish it away or ignore it. Confrontation, learning, and honest dialogue are essential. It’s time to abandon the “fake it until you make it” mentality.

I understand that some may struggle to express themselves adequately right now. I want them to know that they don’t need to craft the perfect message. Sharing a raw, unrefined thought is far more valuable than saying nothing at all. Read anti-racism literature and expose your children to these essential lessons as well. Follow Black voices on social media and engage with their insights. Watch impactful documentaries, such as Ava Duvernay’s 13th and Just Mercy. Be receptive to conversations about race, and approach these discussions with an open heart. Commit to learning and growing.

Don’t allow guilt or fragility to hinder your journey toward being anti-racist. Racism is a pervasive issue that requires the active involvement of white allies.

Some individuals might assert that they can’t be racist because they have Black friends or view themselves as “colorblind.” They tout a belief in peace and love, echoing Dr. King, while conveniently ignoring his insistence on justice and protest. These attitudes dismiss the historical and ongoing pain experienced by many. Such justifications serve only to protect one’s own comfort rather than foster understanding.

Racism transcends the explicit actions of hate groups or the use of slurs. It has a long, painful history and can manifest in various forms, including stereotypes, microaggressions, discriminatory practices, and the pervasive “All Lives Matter” narrative. Even pledging allegiance to symbols instead of to humanity reflects this issue.

Inaction communicates a troubling message: it suggests that friends of color don’t truly matter, that they are mere tokens in a fleeting moment. Silence implies a preference for comfort over bravery, a refusal to engage, and a desire to maintain the status quo while injustice persists. Silence is more than just empty; it’s a powerful statement.

To my white friends and family who are hesitant to speak out, I implore you to consider the implications of your silence. Your unwillingness to acknowledge racism not only harms my family but also affects every person of color you encounter. It’s time to make a choice: either Black lives matter, or they don’t. There is no room for ambiguity, no safety net, no escape from this reality.

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In summary, the silence of white friends and family during crucial discussions on racial justice speaks volumes. It is vital for everyone to engage in the conversation, educate themselves, and stand up for justice. The choice to be an ally or to remain silent will shape the future of our society.

Keyphrase: Impact of Silence in Racial Justice

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