The other day, my partner was on the phone with her mother in the kitchen, discussing the tragic murder of George Floyd and the subsequent protests and riots. I could hear her mother asking questions, and while the conversation remained civil, it felt like two people from entirely different worlds were trying to discuss the same historical moment.
Though we’ve never openly discussed our political affiliations, it’s clear that my partner’s parents lean Republican while we identify as Democrats. They tune into Fox News, whereas we prefer NPR. Living in a blue state like Oregon contrasts sharply with their red state of Idaho. As they spoke, I heard familiar themes echoing through their words: “paid protesters,” “Antifa being the real issue,” and the sentiment that while the death of an unarmed Black man was tragic, it didn’t justify the destruction of property.
In a situation all too common these days, my partner attempted to reason with her mother. She pointed out how absurd the notion of paid protesters is and acknowledged that while Antifa might cause some issues, focusing solely on shattered glass overlooks the deeper systemic problems at play. This sounded eerily similar to the conversations I’ve had with my own family, most of whom share similar Republican views.
I’ve witnessed this same dialogue unfold online among family and friends, with repetitive talking points being exchanged. Engaging in political discussions with my family can feel exhausting and frustrating, leading me to consider avoiding these topics altogether or even severing ties with those who hold opposing views. Yet, despite the difficulty, it’s crucial to engage in these conversations now more than ever, and here’s why.
In 2020, social media algorithms and 24/7 news cycles create content that reinforces our existing beliefs, resulting in a powerful echo chamber. Many people have taken to social media to proclaim their intent to unfriend or block those with differing opinions, and I completely understand that sentiment.
I support marginalized voices prioritizing their own mental health and safety, as it’s not their responsibility to educate those who refuse to acknowledge their humanity. There are indeed toxic individuals online who perpetuate hate and racism, and it’s essential to call them out or block them to silence their harmful narratives.
However, it’s important to differentiate between hateful rhetoric and simply having a different perspective. What we need more of right now is dialogue, not disengagement; conversations that challenge us to confront our biases, even when they get uncomfortable.
I recently wrote a piece discussing how understanding the reasons behind protests is ultimately an act of empathy. Riots are born out of desperation when people feel unheard and invisible. They erupt when countless attempts to communicate grievances peacefully have failed — when cries for justice go unacknowledged, and evidence of injustice is ignored.
When family members ask me why the protests are occurring, I share this perspective and encourage them to consider the depth of frustration that leads individuals to take to the streets. Those who express more outrage over property damage than over loss of life often come from a place of privilege and safety. Many people feel they have nothing left to lose, leading them to resort to drastic measures in the hope of being heard.
For those who struggle to grasp this, I ask them to approach the situation with empathy. Surprisingly, this perspective often causes them to pause, as it’s a viewpoint they may not have encountered before. Most of us don’t actively seek to understand opposing views; instead, we gravitate towards information that confirms our beliefs.
Providing an alternative viewpoint might be the key to fostering the empathy that is so desperately needed in our society. These conversations can be challenging and tense, but they are vital if we genuinely aim to address systemic racism and instigate meaningful change. This responsibility largely falls on people like me, who come from a place of privilege and need to engage with family members who may not have been exposed to these critical perspectives.
While it might be easier to click “block” and walk away, it’s crucial to remember that lives are at stake.
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In summary, discussing difficult topics with family, like the recent protests, is essential for fostering understanding and empathy. It’s a challenging but necessary journey that can lead to meaningful change in our communities.
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