Starting a family wasn’t as straightforward for my partner and me as it seems to be for others. We faced the challenges of unexplained infertility, which took me to some of my lowest emotional points. I found myself feeling bitter and resentful towards every woman who seemed to conceive effortlessly.
Even now, nearly six years later—with one miscarriage, a D&C, the loss of our stillborn son (whom we named Asher), and our two beautiful twin daughters conceived through IUI—the bitterness lingers. I can’t help but feel a pang of envy when I see women who seem to be perpetually pregnant, having baby after baby without the struggles we faced.
While my journey didn’t lead me to IVF, it did introduce me to Clomid, the HSG test, self-injections, blood draws, and transvaginal ultrasounds (which I was completely unaware of until treatment began). The emotional scars from our fertility struggles run deep and may fade with time, but they are indelibly etched into my being.
If you’re grappling with infertility, you’ll likely resonate with this list and maybe even have some experiences to add:
You know you’re dealing with infertility when…
- Pregnancy announcements from others leave you in tears.
- The phrase “just relax” ignites your anger.
- Hearing parents complain about their children makes you think, “They don’t know how lucky they are.”
- Strolling past the baby aisle in any store brings on the waterworks.
- A child calling out “Hi Daddy!” can send you into an emotional spiral in public (trust me, I’ve been there!).
- Pregnant women seem to be everywhere, and there’s no escaping them.
- Conversations about baby-making become overly clinical.
- You find yourself attending baby showers, questioning when it will be your turn.
- You possess a deeper understanding of conception than the average person.
- You drive to the fertility clinic with a specimen bottle strategically placed between your legs to keep it warm.
- “Trying” feels more like a chore than a joy.
- You conquer your fear of needles after countless blood tests.
- You no longer say “when we have kids,” but rather “if we have kids.”
- Each month, when “Aunt Flo” arrives, you have a mini breakdown.
You’ve likely deleted that Pinterest board you created for future children, and seeing others’ baby photos elicits both joy and jealousy. Social media can feel like a minefield (seriously, avoid Facebook!). You pray daily for the opportunity to become a parent and experience cycles of bitterness. You might even start considering getting another dog to fill that void.
Your phone is probably home to a cycle-tracking app, and you may have a secret Pinterest board dedicated to infertility (admit it, we all do!). Your close friends and family are well-acquainted with the status of your uterus and your partner’s sperm counts. A simple diaper commercial can bring you to tears (curse you, Johnson & Johnson!).
When your annual bonus is announced at work, your first thought is how it’ll cover fertility appointments. When a pregnant person complains about morning sickness, you find yourself mentally screaming, “STFU! At least you’re pregnant!” You’ve likely had to unfollow any Pinterest boards involving children and your fridge might even have a shelf reserved for injectable fertility meds.
You’ve got your own sharps container for used needles, and your partner has taken on the role of your personal nurse, or you’ve learned to give yourself injections. To lift your spirits, you’ve created an “infertility playlist” and you text so much about treatments that your autocorrect starts changing common words to fertility terms — “any” becomes “AMH,” “on” turns into “OB,” and “click” is replaced with “Clomid.”
Your abdomen is often sore and bloated from the injections and hormones, and you’ve had to discuss your treatment plans with your employer, needing time off for appointments, sometimes at a moment’s notice. You realize just how strong you truly are, and despite your best efforts, each month you still hold onto a glimmer of hope and begin the cycle anew.
For more insights and relatable content, check out this blog post. If you’re seeking authoritative information, visit Make A Mom for fertility boosters for men or explore American Pregnancy for more excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, navigating infertility can be an emotionally taxing journey filled with ups and downs. It’s a path that many can relate to, filled with unique struggles and moments of resilience. While the scars may remain, the hope for a family persists.
Keyphrase: infertility struggles
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]