“Wow,” another elderly lady remarked as I navigated the store with my three children, all under the age of four. “You really have your hands full.” I had grown accustomed to these comments, responding with a polite smile while managing my grocery list amidst the chaos. Juggling three little ones wasn’t a walk in the park, but it was a necessity.
As one of my children began to grow older, it became clear that they struggled with certain challenges. The sudden outbursts, the need to touch everything in sight, and the intentional falls all became part of our daily routine. Running errands or attending playdates transformed into exhausting adventures. In a moment of frustration, I decided to purchase a toddler carrier, hoping that wearing my child would make outings smoother. What I didn’t expect was the wave of judgment that came with my decision.
I’m not one to seek approval from others. I knew baby-wearing was the best choice for my child and me. It provided them with comfort and the sensory input they needed to feel secure. Plus, it kept my child safe from impulsively darting off into busy parking lots. Yet, despite my strong convictions, the unsolicited criticism wore me down. The constant “advice” from strangers, particularly the so-called experts, was incredibly frustrating.
Take, for instance, a day I had a routine lab appointment. With two of my kids at school, I only had one child with me. After strapping on my carrier and settling my child in, we headed inside. While waiting, I swayed gently to keep my child calm. When the lab technician called me back, she gave me a disapproving look and asked, “Can’t your child walk?”
I was taken aback. What if my child couldn’t walk? Her comment was not only unprofessional but also deeply offensive. When I didn’t respond, she continued with, “You can’t carry them forever.” It was clear she was one of those people who judge every parenting choice, from breastfeeding to co-sleeping.
As she prepared to draw blood, she couldn’t resist throwing in more jabs about baby-wearing. I finally responded, “My child has special needs, and wearing them is the safest option. We’re in a lab, not a playground.” She fell silent, clearly unsure of how to respond without appearing rude.
During our errands, whether at the library or pharmacy, my child would be comfortably strapped to my back, happily engaged in their own little world. Yet, without fail, someone would approach, grimacing and asking, “How old is your child?” followed by a comment about how it would hurt their back. There was never a friendly chat—just judgment.
After repeated encounters, I developed a quick response: “This doesn’t hurt my back; look how happy my child is!” Then I would turn to my kids and say, “Let’s go!” and walk away from the negativity. I refused to entertain their ignorance, and leaving them behind was a satisfying rebuttal.
Curiosity and a desire for education are perfectly fine. What’s unacceptable is interrogating a parent and child simply to cast judgment on their choices. Children hear these remarks, and the negative messages directed at them—especially when they cannot control their circumstances—are disheartening.
I never felt the need to explain my child’s medical background to every rude observer. My decision to baby-wear was not open for debate. Over time, I realized many special needs are invisible, leading to misguided assumptions from strangers. It’s important to remember that a child’s requirements don’t diminish as they grow older.
And even if a parent has a child without special needs, if baby-wearing works for them, who are we to judge? There are numerous benefits to baby-wearing, including the parent’s freedom of movement, emotional closeness, and enhanced safety. Each family should follow their own path, whether that involves baby-wearing or not.
Understanding and respect should guide our attitudes towards different parenting choices. The Golden Rule should apply to all aspects of parenting, whether it’s baby-wearing, using child leashes, or other approaches. Parenting is challenging enough without unsolicited opinions complicating matters.
For more on parenting and related topics, check out our other posts at Home Insemination Kit. If you’re seeking further information about home insemination methods, CryoBaby provides excellent resources in this area, as does NHS for broader insights.
Summary
The author shares their experiences of being judged for baby-wearing their child with special needs. Despite the challenges and unsolicited advice from strangers, they emphasize the importance of making choices that best suit their family. They advocate for understanding and respect in parenting, highlighting the benefits of baby-wearing for both parent and child.
Keyphrase: baby-wearing child with special needs
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