My journey with TikTok began as an exploration for a character in a novel I was working on—one that needed to communicate like a typical teenager. I downloaded the app just before the world slipped into lockdown.
Right from the start, I was captivated by TikTok’s essence, especially its penchant for lip-synching. Growing up in a small-town elementary school during the 1980s, air-band performances were a staple. My twin sister and I even snagged third place in a talent show with our rendition of “Manic Monday” by The Bangles. It felt monumental.
I also appreciated the brevity of TikToks. With a four-year-old and a seven-year-old, my phone time is limited to snippets, and while TikToks are 15 seconds long, they fit into my chaotic life just fine.
Had social distancing not become the norm, my interest in TikTok might have faded quickly. But the timing was serendipitous. If I were to chart my days, 98% would be dedicated to parenting.
My kids have become my constant companions, and though they are my greatest joy, they also experience waves of frustration and loneliness. They miss their friends and activities, and so do I. This is a challenging time for all of us.
I found myself longing for connection. Facebook felt empty, Twitter left me feeling down, and Instagram, which usually brightened my day with pictures of my kids and nature, turned into a series of sourdough photos. While baking brought some pleasure, it did not spark joy. I knew I wasn’t alone in this feeling.
My sister, who lives across the country, texted me recently saying, “I miss new.” TikTok became my “new.” At 40 years old, I embarked on my TikTok adventure.
What Captivates Me on TikTok
There are three primary types of TikToks that capture my attention—though the platform offers a vast array of content. My feed generally falls into three categories: transformations, confessionals, and dance challenges.
Transformations feature users changing their appearance dramatically on camera. Confessionals have people lip-synching to spoken content, reminiscent of air-bands sans music. However, the highlight for me is the dance challenges. They kick off when someone posts a dance routine to a song snippet, prompting others to replicate it. Some users record themselves reacting to the dances, while others get creative with costumes or unusual moves. It’s akin to witnessing an Andy Warhol painting in motion.
My First TikTok Experience
I decided my inaugural TikTok would be a dance challenge. Choosing a username that felt cool yet self-aware took some time. I aimed for an easy routine, but my initial desire was to perform the sultry #savage by Megan Thee Stallion. However, knowing it was too ambitious, I opted for a jazzy routine to #blindinglights by The Weeknd, reminiscent of an energetic aerobics class.
TikTok allows users to create duets, and I chose to partner with a popular father-son trio boasting over 100,000 followers, known for their slick moves. While washing dishes one morning, I practiced the dance, imagining myself as Jennifer Beals from Flashdance—though, of course, I am not her. But on TikTok, it’s all about fun; it feels like a summer party.
Choosing an outfit posed a challenge. My husband, a head brewer at an essential microbrewery, means I’m the primary caregiver, and let’s just say the combination of childcare and easy access to great beer doesn’t help with fitness. I decided on black leggings and a loose top, wanting to channel a relaxed ballerina vibe. Red flats completed the look, adding a touch of dancer chic.
Setting up for backyard TikToks became essential, as I needed the kids outside to film. I hoped their laughter at my rehearsal would inspire them to join in. They found my repeated attempts amusing, which reinforced that I may not be the cool dancer I envisioned, but I was thoroughly enjoying myself.
To be honest, I’m not a natural dancer. I picked choreography that seemed straightforward, but it turned out to be more challenging than anticipated. The first move—a dab with a side leg step—was a struggle for me. Still, I threw myself into it. My daughter pointed out that my attempts looked more like bouncing. I deleted countless TikToks in pursuit of something decent.
Then it happened. I bounced into frame, dabbed, stepped, hopped, and even incorporated a move resembling Irish Step Dancing—not part of the original choreography, but it worked! At the end, I kicked at the camera with unrestrained joy. In that moment, something shifted within me. I had found my new passion.
The final frame was a revelation: a genuine smile that I hadn’t seen in ages. Before posting, I added the hashtag #over40. Many of us are in this space, all looking for connection and joy during isolation. Parties may be off the table for now, but we can still dance together.
And now, it’s time to tackle #savage.
Further Reading
For even more insights, check out our other post, which dives into various parenting topics here. If you’re interested in resources about pregnancy and home insemination, you can visit Cleveland Clinic’s podcast for excellent information. Additionally, for those looking to dive deeper into self insemination, BabyMaker’s at-home insemination kit is a trusted resource.
In summary, TikTok has become a delightful escape for those of us over 40, offering a refreshing way to connect, express creativity, and find joy amid challenging times.
Keyphrase: TikTok for the over-40 crowd
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