In the United States, patriotism runs deep. While not every individual shares this sentiment, many proudly wave the flag and celebrate military service. As someone married to a service member, I’ve witnessed this firsthand. Whenever Jake dons his uniform—which is nearly every day—people rush to express their gratitude for his service. They buy his coffee, shake his hand, and often share their own military stories. While he’s not a combat veteran and makes no claims to be one, that doesn’t stop others from showing their appreciation. He receives their thanks with grace, but there’s one day of the year when he declines recognition: Memorial Day.
Memorial Day is not the time for acknowledging living veterans or currently serving military members. It’s a solemn occasion dedicated to honoring those who made the ultimate sacrifice in service to their country.
Every last Monday of May, my uncle reflects on his brother Paul, who went to Vietnam at just 19 and returned only in a flag-draped coffin. Though I never met him, his legacy lives on in my family’s memories. We share his story each year to remind ourselves not only of his sacrifice but also of the life he lived before his untimely death. Memorial Day provides a space for us to keep his memory alive.
Veterans who have faced combat often carry the weight of lost comrades on this day. Even those like my husband, who haven’t seen active combat, can feel the loss of fellow service members, particularly due to the tragedies of PTSD and suicide. Memorial Day is about honoring those who are no longer with us, not for thanking those who are.
That said, there are appropriate times to express gratitude to living service members. For instance, Armed Forces Day, observed on the third Saturday of May, is a dedicated occasion to appreciate those actively serving in the military. It’s the perfect opportunity to thank airmen, soldiers, sailors, marines, and coastguardsmen for their dedication.
Veterans Day, celebrated on November 11, is another important date where we honor all individuals who have served in the military. It’s a chance to thank those who have completed their service and acknowledge their contributions. Many businesses even offer discounts and tokens of appreciation on this day.
Every military branch has its own birthday, too. For example, Army veterans celebrate on June 14, while the Coast Guard has its day on August 4. The Air Force’s birthday falls on September 18, and the Navy observes its anniversary on October 13. The Marine Corps celebrates on November 10. Remembering these dates allows you to show appreciation to veterans in a meaningful way.
As the spouse of a military member, I sometimes wish for a world without conflict, but the reality is that service is essential. Those who enlist are prepared to make sacrifices, and it’s commendable to recognize their willingness—just not on Memorial Day. Reserve that day for honoring those who have lost their lives in service to our nation. You can always express gratitude to veterans on other occasions.
For more insights, check out our other posts, including this one about the significance of memorials and remembrance. If you’re interested in exploring options for family planning, resources like Make A Mom can provide valuable information. Additionally, for those considering IVF, Hopkins Medicine offers excellent support. Remember, Memorial Day is a time for reflection, not recognition.