Not long ago, I shared a post on my blog’s Facebook page about the new reality of juggling homeschooling with working from home. I aimed to illustrate how these different aspects of life seemed to blend together chaotically. However, the responses I received revealed that my experience was far from universal.
I was taken aback by the number of women who commented that their husbands were working remotely but not contributing to homeschooling duties. One lady even mentioned that her husband would retreat to their bedroom, locking the door. Meanwhile, she was managing a full-time job from home and was left alone to homeschool their five children. Honestly, I was shocked by such revelations.
I had naïvely assumed that in 2020, the responsibilities of this new educational arrangement would be shared more equally between partners. But a recent survey by The New York Times supports what I observed in those comments: homeschooling responsibilities during the pandemic have largely fallen on women. Interestingly, fathers seem to have a different perspective; nearly half of them claimed to spend more time on homeschooling than their partners, while only three percent of mothers agreed with that assessment. A staggering 80 percent of mothers reported that they were handling the bulk of the homeschooling workload.
It’s essential to note that this survey was not a scientific study; it simply asked 2,200 parents a straightforward question in April: “Who is spending more time homeschooling your children or assisting with distance learning?”
When I reflect on the findings of this survey alongside the feedback from my own post, it’s hard to ignore the imbalance. However, rather than launching into a critique of men, it seems the core issue is a misunderstanding of each partner’s contributions.
It’s rather bold for 43% of fathers to claim they’re doing more than their spouses when it comes to homeschooling. I can admit that my wife, Sarah, is taking on a larger share of the responsibility in our household. She works at our kids’ school, where her hours have dwindled from 40 to just 10 to 15 per week since the pandemic hit, giving her more time for homeschooling.
When my work shifted to a remote environment, I panicked and did something less than admirable—I isolated myself in a room, trying to navigate the new online work setup and worrying about job security. This left Sarah to manage homeschooling for all three of our kids by herself. After a week, I noticed her reaching her breaking point and asked what was wrong. She stared at me as if I had completely missed the point and explained that she couldn’t handle everything alone.
That moment was a wake-up call for me. I realized I had been neglectful, too consumed by job worries to support my family. We sat down that night and devised a plan to tackle homeschooling together. I took on our 13-year-old son, who needed minimal supervision, while Sarah focused on our two younger daughters, who required more individualized attention. Later in the day, I would step in to help with them if needed, while Sarah managed her work obligations.
I acknowledge that this arrangement isn’t perfectly equal; Sarah still does more, but she also has more free time compared to my work hours. In many households, this inequality may persist. The key takeaway here is the necessity of planning and cooperating with your partner to ensure that everyone feels heard, that assumptions about responsibilities don’t take hold, and that the challenge of homeschooling is approached collaboratively.
So, let’s make it a point to communicate openly with your spouse about homeschooling arrangements, reach a compromise, and find ways to share the load. This principle should govern any partnership, even beyond the challenges brought by COVID-19. For more insights on navigating parenting and home life, check out our other post here. You can also learn more about artificial insemination at Make a Mom and find excellent pregnancy resources at Johns Hopkins.
In summary, the homeschooling burden during the pandemic has disproportionately affected women, raising questions about shared responsibilities in parenting. Open communication and planning between partners are essential to navigate this new normal effectively.
Keyphrase: Burden of Homeschooling
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