I firmly believe that “Mommy Brain” should be recognized as a legitimate condition, one that many mothers I know grapple with daily. The mental fog that envelops us from sheer exhaustion clouds our judgment, heightens forgetfulness, and leaves us eagerly awaiting our children’s bedtime so we can finally indulge in binge-watching our favorite shows and snacking on carbs. I thought I had a handle on my Mommy Brain before the pandemic hit, but it feels like it has escalated to new extremes after two months of quarantine.
A Recent Example
Take last week, for instance. With shelter-in-place orders in effect, many of our routine medical appointments have been canceled or shifted to virtual formats. However, one appointment remained essential: delivering my tween’s broken retainer to the orthodontist. We were enjoying lunch when my partner suddenly reminded me, “Don’t we have an appointment today?” A quick glance at the clock revealed we had only nineteen minutes to make it across town.
I had dutifully noted the appointment in my planner, set an alarm on my phone, and even mentioned it to my daughter. But did I remember? Of course not. More often than not, when an alarm goes off, I find myself asking, “Does anyone know what that’s for?”
The New Normal
Whatever this new normal is, it has significantly affected my ability to remember and manage the few plans we have outside the house. My routine has been completely upended. Before the lockdown, I was a whirlwind, juggling four kids in school, various appointments, errands, and extracurricular activities. I would race through each day, collapsing into bed at night only to rise early and do it all over again.
Now, with the world turned upside down, moms—who often shoulder the bulk of the household workload—must reconfigure everything. We’re taking on more roles than ever, including that of remote teacher to our children. Not to mention, we’re also tasked with helping each child navigate their emotional and mental well-being amid an unprecedented crisis, where prom dates and graduation ceremonies have vanished, leaving older kids yearning for a sense of normalcy.
Overwhelmed and Forgetful
There’s hardly any time for moms to catch a break and think in peace. We might jot things down or schedule reminders on our phones, but when the time comes, it’s like the information has vanished. Despite receiving reminders from the orthodontist via text, email, and even a phone call the day before, I still forgot where I was supposed to be at 1:40 p.m. on Tuesday. What day of quarantine is it anyway? I can’t even recall what I had for breakfast—or if I even had breakfast. Feels like it’s day 2,687.
Typically, I am quite organized, but these days, I feel completely out of my depth. My kids are struggling with sleep, largely due to anxiety related to quarantine life, and consequently, I’m not sleeping well either. My inbox overflows with school emails every morning. What’s the password for that learning app? Why is the Wi-Fi acting up? Who’s crying? What’s for dinner? How did we run out of coffee?
My children have missed Zoom meetings, and there have been times we’ve logged in late or barely on time. Assignments have been overlooked. With four different sets of work to track, complete, and submit, it becomes overwhelming. On top of that, I have my own work, which I usually only start right before dinner because, truthfully, I have no spare minute until then.
Managing Anxiety
In addition to being a full-time mom, nurse, teacher, therapist, and partner, I’m also managing my own generalized anxiety disorder, which ebbs and flows under the current climate. Many mothers experience similar struggles with anxiety or depression, making the isolation even harder to navigate. The usual coping strategies like therapy, exercise, and self-care breaks aren’t always viable right now, or they come in fleeting moments.
I’ve been actively trying to extend grace to myself during this challenging time. This bizarre, often daunting situation has left many mothers feeling frustrated and exhausted, trapped in a hazy state of “mommy-fog.” Forgetfulness is part of the package; our minds are filled to the brim with not just daily responsibilities, but also the emotional turbulence that arises as we try to cope with the pandemic’s impact. We’re simply doing our best to get through each hour, hoping we’re managing alright.
You Are Not Alone
If you’re experiencing an elevated state of Mommy Brain, know that you’re far from alone. Nearly every mom I’ve spoken with feels just as overwhelmed, navigating each day while wishing for a return to normalcy. Until that day arrives, we will continue to focus on what truly matters: the health and safety of our families.
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Summary
The pandemic has intensified the mental burden of motherhood, leading to increased forgetfulness and anxiety. As mothers juggle multiple roles—teacher, caregiver, and professional—they often struggle to maintain their routines and manage stress. Acknowledging this shared experience can help ease the overwhelming feelings many mothers face.
Keyphrase: motherhood during quarantine
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