My eldest son recently navigated yet another day of online classes, a task he absolutely despises. The thought of being confined to a classroom for hours on end is not his cup of tea. Instead, he thrives on physical activity, hitting the gym, and engaging in hands-on work. For the past few years, he has been employed as a plumber’s apprentice, even balancing two jobs at times—all by his own choice.
As he nears the end of high school, the prospect of college is nowhere in his plans, and I genuinely couldn’t be more excited for him. Sure, I would have supported him if he had expressed a desire to pursue college or a technical school. Both my husband and I were once college-goers, and we set aside funds for our children, anticipating they might want to follow a similar path.
However, becoming a parent teaches you not to make assumptions about your children’s futures or milestones. Once they hit their teenage years, it becomes essential to let go of your expectations unless you’re prepared for a daily uphill battle. I could easily push my son towards college, trying to dictate his future as he transitions into adulthood, but that wouldn’t be fair. Instead, I’m choosing to support his decision and focus on the many advantages of not attending college.
For starters, we can skip the mountain of paperwork, including college essays and the financial stress of tuition fees. I’m not just referring to the potential debt we would incur, but also the dizzying task of sorting through loan options, determining eligibility for aid, and hunting for scholarships and grants. He won’t have to add college applications to his already busy life. Of course, I would have been there to help him if he had chosen that route, but since he hasn’t, I’m ready to embrace the freedom that comes with his decision.
He’s done his research and is firm in his choice to enter the plumbing trade. He knows he can graduate high school and launch his career without the burden of debt. It’s a straightforward decision for him; he has a clear plan and is far from the stereotype of a young adult living in his parents’ basement while waiting for life to happen. Unlike me at his age, who followed the crowd and hoped for the best, he is determined and knows what he wants.
Moreover, he always has the option to attend college later if he changes his mind. Just because he isn’t heading to college right after high school doesn’t mean he’s closing any doors. This flexibility is one of the most rewarding aspects of allowing him to make his own choices. He can look back knowing that his journey was his own and that he never felt compelled by us to pursue a path he didn’t want.
As parents, we all have dreams for our children. A few years ago, when it became clear that traditional schooling wasn’t the right fit for my son, I decided to release my expectations. Those preconceived notions can often lead to frustration. What matters most to me is my son’s happiness. While some may view my support as a lack of ambition, it’s quite the opposite. I trust him when he says college isn’t for him, and I admire his eagerness to graduate and embark on a fulfilling career.
I can see the joy that his job in the trades has brought him, and I refuse to hold him back because society deems college the logical next step after high school. What feels right for one person may not resonate with another, and I simply lack the energy to try to change his mind. Next year, while many families prepare for college, my son and I will likely be browsing through apartments or condos. He will be thrilled to start each day in a job he loves, where he feels skilled, confident, and engaged.
Ultimately, the greatest reward of letting him forge his own path is knowing that he is genuinely happy. No scholarship, degree, or expectation can compare to that. Isn’t happiness what we all desire for our children? How fortunate he is to discover that so early in life, rather than drifting along a path dictated by others.
For more insights on parenting and making decisions that suit your family, check out our other blog posts like this one at Home Insemination Kit. If you’re looking for reliable resources regarding pregnancy, visit CDC’s pregnancy page. And for information on at-home insemination kits, Make A Mom has you covered.
Summary: My son’s choice to skip college after high school has led me to reevaluate the norms surrounding education and success. I support his decision to pursue a career in plumbing, focusing on his happiness rather than societal expectations.
Keyphrase: My son won’t go to college
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