First and foremost, let me express my love for my four boys. They fill my life with joy, laughter, and a profound appreciation for unconditional love. However, on certain days, I find myself preferring the company of my cat.
With the unexpected return of my two middle sons due to college closures, I initially anticipated a delightful reunion. The first week was a whirlwind of board games and bonfires, but soon the charm faded, revealing a sitcom-like chaos.
Living as the only woman among five men presents its own set of challenges, and the quarantine has amplified my keen observations of our daily life.
A Fork in the Bathroom
Seriously, what on earth? Why is there a fork in my bathroom? What scenario could possibly justify finding a fork perched on the toilet? Bathrooms serve one primary purpose, and it certainly doesn’t involve dining! And to make matters stranger, there was no plate—just the fork. Steak skewer, perhaps?
The Ice Maker is Always Wrong
Crushed ice has limited uses—margaritas, daiquiris, and the occasional soft drink. Yet, after nearly seven weeks without dining out, every time I reach for cubed ice, I’m greeted by crushed ice. Why? One child is solely responsible for this ice switch, and I hope he isn’t mixing drinks for himself, being underage and all… unless it’s a treat for his mom.
Kitchen Hours: Open 24/7
In a house full of boys, I’ve grown accustomed to a 24/7 kitchen. Despite my nightly dinner preparations, my boys seem to have insatiable appetites. Just the other night, my youngest emerged from his lair at 1:30 am to whip up nachos, leaving a trail of crumbs in his wake. When I asked why he was snacking at such an hour, his simple response was, “Me hungry.” Got it.
A Time Change Has Occurred
I once thought the only time changes I’d experience were those related to Daylight Saving Time. But now, we operate on BST—Boy Standard Time. Breakfast is served at 1:00 pm, lunch at 5:00 pm, and dinner at 8:00 pm, with bedtime extending to 3:00 am. Hence, the late-night nachos make perfect sense.
Welcome to “Mt. Dirty Dishes”
Our home features a popular attraction known as Mt. Dirty Dishes. This heap can be viewed at any hour, and legend states that as soon as the kitchen is spotless, an avalanche of dirty dishes mysteriously appears—from oatmeal bowls to milk glasses and peanut butter-covered knives.
The Trail of Clothes
Need to locate one of my boys? Just follow the trail of shoes, shorts, and stinky gym towels. Occasionally, the Wicked Witch of the West swoops in, threatening to cut off WiFi, while the Good Witch reminds them to clean up after themselves.
Always “In the Middle of a Game”
Without a doubt, the most frustrating phrase from my boys is, “I’m in the middle of a game.” Whether it’s dinner time or a request for help with groceries, the response is always the same. Where’s that Wicked Witch when you need her?
Speaking a Different Language
Listening to my boys converse feels like deciphering a foreign language. Terms like Pepega and PogChamp are common, thanks to their obsession with a gaming platform called Twitch. If I tried to join the conversation with my ’80s slang, they’d likely roll their eyes and mutter, “OK, Boomer.”
While my boys can be a source of chaos, there’s also kindness and love amidst the mess. So, when they ask me to go to the store because we have nothing to eat, I might just smirk and reply, “Of course, boys. But right now, I’m in the middle of a game.”
For more insights on navigating life with children, check out our other blog post here. If you’re exploring home insemination options, consider visiting Make a Mom for expert advice, or learn more about fertility services at Johns Hopkins.
In summary, while the antics of my boys can drive me to the brink, they also remind me of the warmth and love that fills our home.
Keyphrase: home life with boys
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]