A few months ago, my 12-year-old son, Ethan, decided to head to the park with some friends from school. They were familiar faces from just a few blocks away, and the park was conveniently down the street. As they pedaled off on their bikes, baseball gloves and bats in tow, I couldn’t help but picture a scene straight out of a classic movie like The Sandlot.
However, he returned home merely 20 minutes later, which caught me off guard. I had expected them to enjoy the park for at least an hour. As he parked his BMX bike in the garage, I inquired about his early return.
He removed his helmet, his messy brown hair sticking out in various directions, and placed his mitt on a shelf. With a calm demeanor, he replied, “Those kids were cursing, and I didn’t like it. I asked them to stop, but they wouldn’t. It made me uncomfortable, so I left.”
I stood there momentarily, taken aback by his poise. He was looking me in the eyes, his posture radiating confidence. It was as if he was saying, “I listened to what you taught me.” And indeed, I had told him that if he ever felt uneasy or found himself in a troubling situation, he should assert himself and ask others to stop. This could involve friends, teachers, or even family. Yet, like many parents, I was still surprised to see that what I taught him theoretically had become a reality. My internal dialogue was simply, “Wait, you were actually paying attention?!”
But honestly, my real shock was more about my own reflections than his actions.
Of course, I expressed my pride. I even gave him a high five and told him to grab some cookies from the pantry. I mean, how impressive is it for a 12-year-old to confront peers about inappropriate language?
As he headed inside for a snack, I lingered in the garage, contemplating where this remarkable kid had come from. I felt a wave of gratitude that he had the self-assurance to walk away from a situation that didn’t sit well with him. In stark contrast, I was once the kid cursing at the park, teetering on the edge of being sent to an alternative school. I was the one whose friends’ parents regarded me with disapproval for my language. Back then, if someone had told me to stop swearing, I might have reacted with aggression. Sure, I wasn’t a criminal, but I was a far cry from the confident young man my son had just become.
By the time I hit 12, my father was battling opioid addiction. He had left a few years prior, and our communication was minimal. Throughout my high school years, he was frequently in and out of jail, and he succumbed to his addictions when I was just 19. My mother was juggling multiple jobs to support us, and our relationship was strained. By 14, I had run away and was dabbling in drugs, ultimately seeking refuge with my grandmother.
Fast forward two decades, and here I am, a father of three, reflecting on how I raised a child who could assert himself by saying, “Stop swearing or I’m leaving.”
I’m still not entirely sure how this happened. As I stood there, listening to Ethan rummaging through the pantry, I couldn’t shake the feeling of uncertainty about my parenting. Growing up in a broken home with an absent father can lead you to question your own abilities as a parent. We often talk about breaking the cycle of dysfunction, but what does that even mean?
Honestly, I’m not certain. But in that moment, I felt a sense of relief as the worries and fears I carried into parenthood began to lift, much like air slowly escaping from a tire.
Sure, we have a long way to go; after all, he’s only 12. Plus, I have two daughters to guide as they grow. There’s always the possibility that things could veer off course. Yet, for that brief moment, I felt a swell of pride for my son. He demonstrated the lessons I had instilled in him, and I felt a bit of pride for myself too, as I realized I might be successfully breaking the cycle of dysfunction.
If you’re interested in exploring more on this topic, consider checking out this insightful article on breaking cycles of dysfunction or learning about the at-home insemination kit, which offers valuable resources for those on their parenting journey. Additionally, the Mayo Clinic provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, recognizing the positive changes in our children can bring a sense of accomplishment and hope that we are indeed breaking the cycle of dysfunction, even when we doubt ourselves.
Keyphrase: Breaking the cycle of dysfunction
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