My friend Lisa and I have shared countless experiences, from the mundane to the extraordinary. We met in middle school, stayed close through high school and college, and were each other’s bridesmaids. Despite living only a short drive apart, we keep in touch constantly and know almost everything about one another. Our friendship has deepened alongside our growing families.
When Lisa suggested, “How about we six take a trip to Alaska?” I wasn’t shocked. My family—my husband Mike and our two kids—often spend time with Lisa and her partner, Tom. What caught me off guard was the sudden wave of anxiety that washed over me as she spoke.
Before long, Lisa, Tom, and Mike had crafted an ambitious twelve-day itinerary: flying to Anchorage, driving to Denali, returning to Anchorage, and then setting sail on a week-long cruise through the Inside Passage. I envisioned my kids getting car sick on the way to Denali, tiring out during picturesque hikes, feeling queasy on the cruise ship, and melting down during long dinners. Such chaos had happened on past vacations, but they hadn’t ruined our trips. So why the anxiety this time?
My concerns stemmed from the fact that Lisa and Tom were our dear friends who deserved a hassle-free getaway. While Mike and I were also deserving, I believed I had a realistic view of what traveling with kids entailed. I felt uneasy knowing that Lisa and Tom were investing their hard-earned money and precious vacation time on a potentially chaotic family trip.
Eventually, I opened up to Lisa about my worries, detailing the potential highs and lows of traveling with kids. She laughed and replied, “We’re aware of that! We know it will be different with kids. That’s the whole point!”
Months later, as we boarded the plane, I could only hope for the best.
So What Happened?
Our son Ethan, then six, was exhausted after the first hike, collapsing in the mud and crying all the way back. He also lost his favorite hat in Denali, which led to more tears on the drive back to the hotel. Onboard the cruise, our younger son, Noah, then four, had stomach issues, screamed in our small bathroom for an hour, and continued to cry for the rest of the night. And on Dave’s birthday dinner, Noah was so tired he cried through most of the meal, only stopping when he dozed off in his pasta.
Yet, my boys hardly remember these incidents. Instead, they excitedly recount the sea lions lounging on an iceberg outside our stateroom, the thunderous sound of a glacier calving into the bay, and the wildlife they spotted—grizzlies, caribou, and puffins. Each time they reminisce, I’m reminded of the valuable experiences we gained by vacationing with our child-free friends.
Traveling with friends without kids allowed us to rethink what activities could be enjoyable for the whole family. We might not have observed a beaver at work if Lisa and Tom hadn’t encouraged us to tackle a more challenging hike. They nudged us away from the chaotic cruise buffet to enjoy a nicer dining experience, where we could savor our meals in peace. Their suggestion for a longer excursion in Juneau rewarded us with an incredible sighting of humpback whales breaching nearby.
Our children were inspired to step outside their comfort zones as well. Ethan bravely faced a giant moose on foot, while Noah enthusiastically joined an exhilarating banana boat ride to Ketchikan Island. Even when rain soaked him during a rainforest hike, he laughed instead of crying.
Friends without children can provide a refreshing break from the pressures of parenting, as they aren’t distracted by their own kids. When Ethan began to have a meltdown over a closed mini-golf course, Tom quietly invited him to try out his camera, diverting his attention. At breakfast, I urged Ethan to eat over his plate, but as he grew more irritable, Lisa asked him what he was most excited about when returning to school, which shifted the mood at the table. Observing my sons interact with our friends reminded me of the importance of simply conversing with them, rather than always directing their behavior.
Traveling with another couple also encouraged our kids to think beyond their own needs. They knew that Lisa and Tom didn’t share their love for trains but saw our friends board the White Pass Railroad with smiles. Later, when discussing evening plans, I was heartened to hear Ethan suggest, “Should we see what Lisa and Tom want to do?” He clearly wanted to reciprocate their kindness.
Finally, having another couple along added a fresh dynamic to our conversations. Our discussions at home often revolve around the kids, so I cherished the moments after putting the boys to bed when we could relax on the balcony with Lisa and Tom. Enjoying the ocean breeze, sipping champagne, and discussing topics beyond Minecraft or toy reviews felt like a mini-vacation within our vacation.
While I still value traveling with other families, I’ve learned not to underestimate what children can handle and enjoy. Before Ethan and Noah arrived, Mike and I traveled across Africa, Asia, Australia, Europe, and the Americas. We delayed starting our family, fearing we couldn’t manage travel with kids. Sometimes I wonder what adventures we could have shared with our boys had I not been so apprehensive. I’m grateful to our friends for helping me focus on the joys of family travel instead of the potential challenges. Without their influence, we might have missed out on last summer’s muddy hike in Kauai or our upcoming snorkeling trip to Central America. Now, I browse travel sites with renewed confidence, thinking, “We can do that. All of us!”
For more stories on parenting and travel, check out our other blog post at Home Insemination Kit. If you’re interested in at-home insemination options, a great resource can be found at Mayo Clinic’s guide, and for supplies, visit Make a Mom.
Summary
Traveling with child-free friends can broaden perspectives, challenge assumptions about family-friendly activities, and create lasting memories. The journey can encourage kids to explore new experiences and teach them to consider the needs of others. Ultimately, such trips can reignite a sense of adventure in parents, proving that family vacations can be both fulfilling and enjoyable.
Keyphrase: Family travel with friends
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