This morning, our home was alive with the energy of a dance party. With Lizzo and Taylor Swift filling the air, my husband, Jake, grabbed his phone to capture the joyful chaos. My young children, aged 1 and 4, joined me in dancing and singing, while Jake beamed with delight. It was a much-needed distraction before a significant change loomed over us.
Tomorrow, Jake will leave for a six-month work opportunity across the country. I’ll remain here on the East Coast, managing solo parenting—something I’ve done before but never quite like this. Jake’s previous jobs have often consumed him with long hours and anxiety, but this time feels different. It’s not just a job; it’s the departure of my best friend and life partner, the father of my children.
Our story began nearly a decade ago in California, where I met Jake online after the end of my first marriage. I quickly became a stepmother and welcomed our first child just months into our relationship. In less than three years, we added a daughter, Lily, and a son, Noah, to our family, and our lives have been a whirlwind since. However, I never anticipated the emotional rollercoaster that lay ahead.
Adjusting to the demands of early motherhood and step-parenting has been immensely challenging. I battled with finding stable work amid the high costs of living in Los Angeles, and my mental health took a steep decline. After a traumatic childhood, I was diagnosed with complex PTSD shortly after Lily’s third birthday, which explained the panic attacks and physical symptoms I was experiencing. This diagnosis felt like a crushing weight, leading me to dark thoughts about my existence.
Fortunately, I sought help and moved to the East Coast to be near Jake’s family, hoping to find the support I needed. Jake made a tremendous sacrifice by leaving behind a successful directing career to join me. We had planned to stay in New Hampshire for a year, searching for work to support our family, but financial struggles hit hard when Jake was unemployed for two months.
Then, a new opportunity arose: West Coast studios reached out to Jake with job offers we had not anticipated. After heartfelt conversations, we recognized that his new role could provide the financial relief we desperately needed, even if it meant a temporary separation. Within a week, he accepted a six-month contract and began looking for housing back in California.
As the day of departure approaches, emotions are running high. Noah, blissfully unaware of the impending change, is about to lose his favorite playmate. Lily is attempting to process her feelings, while I try to be the strong pillar for my family, even as my anxiety is on the rise concerning my mental health.
For me, Jake has always been the steady force in my life. He has transformed into a loving and empathetic partner over the years, proving to be my anchor during critical moments in my mental health journey. The thought of being without him is daunting. I’m trying to stay positive and remind myself how far I’ve come, yet I also allow myself to grieve the loss of his presence.
Our ultimate goal is to reunite as a family in California, and this will require immense patience and effort—especially as I navigate the challenges of single parenting. I’m fortunate to have an amazing therapist and the support of life-saving antidepressants to guide me through this period. However, the return of some PTSD symptoms as Jake’s departure nears has left me questioning how I will cope alone.
During times like these, it’s vital that we, as parents, receive compassion and understanding. We don’t need to be rushed into feeling better; we need safe spaces to express our struggles. It’s crucial for me to acknowledge my feelings without the fear of burdening others. Growing up, I learned that my emotions were overwhelming to those around me, leading to a lifetime of navigating my mental health alone.
Outside of therapy, Jake has been a significant source of healing in my life. While I know I must reparent myself during his absence, it doesn’t make the thought of him leaving any easier. I will miss the laughter we share, the comfort of his presence, and the everyday moments that make our life together special.
I hold onto the hope that this time next year, I won’t be mourning his absence. Instead, I envision waking up in our California home, the kids bouncing with excitement as we make our morning coffee. I see us enjoying movie marathons and weekend pajama days, cherishing the moments together. I will carry these memories with me, especially on days when the distance feels overwhelming.
In the meantime, I’m committed to taking care of myself, seeking support, and finding ways to navigate this challenging chapter. For anyone else in a similar situation, remember that it’s okay not to be okay, and seeking help is a sign of strength. You can explore more about this journey on our blog here or find additional resources on family-building options at Resolve.
Summary
As my husband prepares to leave for a six-month job across the country, I grapple with the emotional turmoil that comes with this temporary separation. While I strive to maintain a positive front for our children, the weight of my mental health journey weighs heavily on my heart. With the support of therapy and medication, I aim to navigate this challenging time while holding onto the hope of reuniting our family in the future.
Keyphrase: Cross-Country Move and Mental Health Challenges
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