Updated: March 12, 2020
Originally Published: March 12, 2020
My partner and I have embarked on our fertility journey and, in just over a month, we’ve already faced a barrage of medical procedures. From blood draws to dye injections in my uterus, it’s been a whirlwind. I even received a vaccination booster that left me more sore than expected. Over the past six months, I’ve spent hundreds on ovulation predictor kits to meticulously track my cycles. We’ve also been required to consult with a psychologist for an “intended parent evaluation,” an expense not covered by our insurance. And yet, we haven’t even attempted insemination yet, with our out-of-pocket expenses already nearing $5,000.
You might be surprised to learn that we do have insurance, and it’s considered better than average. Yet, the $5,000 we’ve accumulated represents just the tip of the iceberg for our desire to start a family.
Today, I learned that $3,500 of that amount has been denied by our insurance provider, despite their claims of excellent infertility coverage. The catch? They require proof of 12 months of unsuccessful attempts to conceive before we can access any benefits. This applies uniformly to all women under 35, regardless of sexual orientation—12 months of failed attempts, whether through intercourse or multiple failed IUI procedures.
Infertility is a heart-wrenching experience. The yearning for a child and the struggle to conceive can be devastating. While many couples face the frustration of a year of unsuccessful attempts, for most, this journey is free or low-cost. However, for my partner and I, a year of IUI could easily cost us upwards of $40,000. To meet our insurance’s requirements, we would nearly have to empty our savings.
I’ve cried more than I care to admit. Having worked as a nanny for a decade, I’ve devoted my life to caring for other people’s children. I’ve built lasting bonds with those little ones and their families, finding indescribable joy in nurturing them. Yet, after pouring my heart into others’ children for so long, I find myself longing for my own.
It’s a darkly humorous twist of fate. Here I am at 29—healthy, married, and financially stable—ready to welcome a child into our lives, yet unable to do so without incurring significant debt, all because our experiences are treated the same as heterosexual couples. They often have easier access to sperm, without the hefty price tags associated with cryobanks.
We wanted to do everything right. We researched, selected a reputable doctor, and I’ve been diligent with my prenatal vitamins for six months. We braced ourselves for the costs of quality donor sperm—between $800 to $1,100 per vial—and assumed our insurance would alleviate some of the financial burden. But now, with everything in disarray, we are left feeling helpless.
This isn’t just personal; it’s a systemic issue. The insurance industry applies the same standards for same-sex couples as they do for heterosexual couples, ignoring the fundamental differences in our situations. It’s a blatant form of discrimination when the rules are designed without consideration for the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ couples.
Our system is flawed, and I feel like I’m being crushed beneath it.
For more insights into these issues, check out this blog post, and for a comprehensive overview of fertility options, visit Healthline’s resource on IVF. If you’re looking for fertility solutions, consider this artificial insemination kit.
In summary, the journey towards parenthood for LGBTQ couples can be fraught with obstacles, especially when it comes to navigating insurance and fertility treatments. The current system often fails to recognize the unique challenges faced by same-sex couples, leaving many feeling frustrated and financially burdened.
Keyphrase: Infertility insurance LGBTQ couples
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]