Let’s be honest—there have been positive strides in how we nurture our daughters. Amid the overwhelming presence of diet culture in media, movements are emerging to empower girls to embrace their bodies. We’re engaging girls in conversations about sexuality instead of ignoring their natural development, ensuring they understand their rights to knowledge about protection and pleasure. We’re breaking the stigma surrounding menstruation, encouraging young girls to carry their tampons with confidence, because there’s nothing shameful about periods.
As a mother of a pre-teen daughter, I feel optimistic about her future and the ongoing improvements in how we help girls grow into self-assured young women who believe in their potential. However, author and expert Dr. Mia Thompson points out that in our efforts to uplift girls, we might be overlooking another crucial group—our boys.
Boys also grapple with body image issues and often receive conflicting messages about masculinity—being tough, unemotional, and sports-oriented—when they may not fit that mold at all. Like girls, they’re navigating a complex world of unrealistic online portrayals and a flood of information that previous generations never faced. They need our support just as much as girls do, especially concerning their mental health, body image, and emotional well-being.
That’s why Dr. Thompson, who previously contributed to a guide for girls, created Understanding Boys: The New Science of Raising Sons. She emphasizes that our children—both boys and girls—are growing up in an environment that can be foreign to us as parents. “This is uncharted territory,” Dr. Thompson tells Home Insemination Kit. “We’re grappling with how to guide them through their unique sources of information, particularly online.”
She notes that we tend to focus on the negatives of the digital world without recognizing the positive aspects it offers. Rather than resisting the technology that our kids engage with, we should learn to navigate it together. As a mother to an introverted son who is frequently online, I appreciate how digital communication fosters connections he might not find in school. These online friendships help him feel less isolated and validated in a space where he truly belongs.
So, if adapting to this tech-driven environment is one challenge for 21st-century parents, what’s the largest hurdle for boys today? According to Dr. Thompson, it’s the lack of open dialogue about their experiences. We excel at discussing girls’ needs and challenges but have yet to catch up with boys. Boys must be invited into conversations about their bodily changes, including wet dreams, unexpected erections, and their feelings toward pornography. They need to understand the changes in their voices and comprehend societal pressures regarding body image, which are prevalent even for them.
Just as young girls are increasingly vocal in this modern feminist era, boys require a platform to express their challenges during puberty. Dr. Thompson explains that we’ve compartmentalized information, assuming that if girls receive more attention, boys must receive less. This imbalance is detrimental and can be addressed if we work to create conversations around physical growth and emotional health for boys as well.
Moreover, Dr. Thompson highlights that boys often don’t show visible signs of puberty as early as girls do, leading to misconceptions about their emotional and mental states. Even if they appear unchanged, boys are still navigating these critical developmental stages and need our guidance.
Understanding Boys also confronts the reality that boys face insecurities about their bodies. This is not solely a “girl issue.” Boys are bombarded with images depicting the “ideal” male physique, resulting in struggles with self-acceptance. They, too, may resort to unhealthy behaviors, such as restrictive eating or extreme workouts, and they deserve as much support as girls in building positive self-esteem and self-love.
Dr. Thompson doesn’t shy away from discussing sex, consent, and pornography in her book. These conversations are vital in raising 21st-century kids. Ignoring the presence of pornography is naive; it’s prevalent and easily accessible. Dr. Thompson reveals that 90% of boys under 18 have encountered it, and 60% of girls have too. This exposure often starts at a much younger age than many of us experienced, making it crucial for us to address these topics head-on with our tweens and teens.
The world has changed, and we cannot parent as we were raised. We owe it to our children—both boys and girls—to equip them with the resources and dialogue necessary to navigate their experiences.
In summary, it’s time we change how we communicate with boys. They deserve open discussions about their physical and emotional growth, just as girls do. By fostering this open communication, we can help them become well-adjusted adults who are in tune with their feelings and bodies.
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Keyphrase: Rethinking parenting for boys
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