I owe an apology to all those parents who navigated parenthood before me. Before I had children, I was the epitome of the “perfect” parent, looking down my nose at your choices. My husband and I naively thought, “How challenging can it be to whip up dinner while caring for a newborn? They sleep constantly!” Oh, how wrong we were.
Fast forward to the day our supportive family left us to fend for ourselves. I found myself in a panic: “How am I supposed to use the bathroom? I can’t even set her down for a second! Why is she crying nonstop? We haven’t eaten in days!” (Okay, the last part may have been a slight exaggeration, but the reality of managing a newborn was a serious wake-up call.) We had no clue how to prepare food while tending to a tiny, demanding human—just pouring a bowl of cereal felt like a monumental achievement! My husband, an excellent cook, was also tackling everything else because our newborn had claimed my attention. He even had to help me on and off the toilet post-C-section, as I struggled to remain upright while my daughter attempted to latch on and off with her newborn gums.
And let me tell you, we quickly learned that newborns don’t follow any kind of schedule. They’re just getting used to the world, completely oblivious to the difference between day and night—and they couldn’t care less. So here’s my heartfelt apology for being an overly judgmental friend before I joined the parenting club.
Reflections on My Previous Misconceptions
Reflecting on my previous misconceptions, here are some of the ridiculous judgments I cast like I was the parenting guru. I’m embarrassed and humbled by my past self. I feel I owe all parents free babysitting for life and a gift basket overflowing with wine, coffee, and snacks to make amends.
- Why are parents always so focused on sleep schedules? Can’t they just relax a bit?
No, they can’t. That schedule is the fragile thread keeping their sanity intact. Let it slide too much, and you’ll find yourself facing a meltdown mode that lasts for what feels like ages. Now that my kids are finally sleeping well, I’m certainly not jeopardizing that by being careless with our schedule. - Let’s just meet at a restaurant with a kids’ menu and chill.
Sure, but “chilling” is a myth when you take toddlers out to eat. Can we meet for lunch at 11:15 a.m.? I need to account for nap times and potential delays. Dinner? Let’s aim for 5 p.m. because sleep is nearly as essential as breathing. And that kids’ menu? Forget it! My little ones will undoubtedly reject whatever is on that list. I may look composed, but I’m always prepared with an escape plan. - Just find a sitter and come out with us!
As appealing as a night out sounds, I’d much rather sink into my couch after the kids are asleep, savoring ice cream and indulging in whatever shows are off-limits for little eyes. I get it now: even when I’m out, I’m not truly present. - They always use their kids as an excuse for not hanging out.
I understand now. Your children come first, and while a break is appreciated, if they need you, you’re there without question. Yes, we absolutely use our kids as a reason to decline less-than-thrilling plans, and I now fully respect the importance of that sleep schedule. - I can’t believe they let their kids do that.
Eat junk food, throw tantrums, or scream? Sometimes you have to roll with it. It might be a one-off situation or just the chaos of the day. Kids are unpredictable little bundles of energy, and I no longer judge those moments.
So please accept my sincerest apologies. Parenting is a humbling journey, and none of us will ever achieve perfection—and that’s perfectly fine. We can still meet up, provided it doesn’t interfere with nap or bedtime, or involve any peculiar food (which, let’s be honest, is everything). Here’s to solidarity among fellow parents!
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Summary
This blog reflects on the author’s transformation from a judgmental friend to a humbled parent, sharing lessons learned about parenting challenges, the importance of schedules, and the realities of raising children.