Recently, my children brought home a flyer from their school announcing a 1920s-themed auction and dance. As I skimmed through the details, my oldest child, a tween, chimed in with, “Mom, you probably shouldn’t attend that.” Curious, I asked for her reasoning, and she pointed to a clipart image of a flapper girl, stating, “That’s cultural appropriation.” I was taken aback and asked her to clarify, to which she replied, “The feathers.” The flapper girl, true to the fashion of the time, sported a sequin headband with feathers.
I took the opportunity to explain that the flapper girl’s image didn’t qualify as cultural appropriation. We had recently discussed this term while observing some fans of the Kansas City Chiefs donning feathered headdresses and face paint during the tomahawk chant. I felt proud of my child for engaging with such significant contemporary racial terminology, which enables us to delve deeper into discussions about race.
Being a white parent with black children, our diverse family background allows us to navigate conversations about race more frequently than some others might. We often draw attention wherever we go, whether through curious glances or direct questions about our multiracial family. There are instances where strangers insist they are “colorblind” due to our black and white family dynamic, or moments when white women inquire about my daughters’ cornrows with exclamations like, “How long did that take? I could never sit still for hours!”
I’m grateful that we have a lexicon to articulate these experiences rather than just vague emotions. This shared vocabulary helps us engage more effectively with others when they approach our family. It’s essential for everyone, not just families of color, to familiarize themselves with these terms. The more individuals—both adults and children—understand and incorporate these concepts, the better equipped we all become to address racial issues. After all, ignoring race hasn’t led us anywhere positive.
White Privilege
Let’s address this directly: if you are white, you possess white privilege. This term refers to the societal advantages that come with being perceived as the norm in America. It encompasses “a set of unearned assets” that white individuals can rely on daily, often without even realizing it. For instance, I can casually carry a reusable bag while shopping without being followed or questioned about my intent to pay. My black children, however, do not share this same benefit and are often viewed with suspicion due to their skin color.
Colorblindness
Let me be clear: racial colorblindness is a myth. (And no, I’m not referring to a medical condition.) This concept suggests that if someone claims to not see race, they are inherently not racist and support racial equality. Ignoring my children’s race is essentially denying their identity. They cannot dissociate from their blackness. Claiming that we are all the same or that we don’t care about racial differences does not equate to being anti-racist; it simply demonstrates ignorance.
The Race Card
This is a common issue. When a person of color calls out racism, there’s often someone who asserts they are “pulling the race card.” This dismissive tactic implies that the individual is leveraging their race for personal gain. I’ve encountered this frequently when I’ve addressed racist remarks. This is not a game; there’s no card. Racism is deeply embedded in our culture, and often, white individuals fail to recognize it, leading them to blame the victim. Just because someone hasn’t personally faced a situation doesn’t make it any less real.
Microaggressions
Microaggressions are subtle remarks or actions that pertain to a person’s identity within a marginalized group. These comments are problematic because they occur frequently in everyday life. Importantly, microaggressions are not a lesser form of racism. For example, my children often face the microaggression of white women attempting to touch their hair out of “curiosity.” This reflects a sense of entitlement stemming from white privilege. Other microaggressions include mispronouncing names or making assumptions about a person’s abilities based on race.
White Fragility
Discussing racial injustice can be uncomfortable for many white individuals, as it forces them to confront their privilege and complicity. When confronted with discomfort, some resort to defensiveness, which can manifest as anger, fear, guilt, silence, or withdrawal. This shift diverts focus from racial injustice to the feelings of the white person involved. For instance, when a black person expresses sorrow over police violence, a white person might respond with “all lives matter,” avoiding the need to confront issues of racial profiling and discrimination.
Cultural Appropriation vs. Cultural Appreciation
Cultural appropriation occurs when someone takes elements from another culture for their own benefit, often without understanding or respecting the significance behind them. For example, a white celebrity showcasing cornrows for attention exemplifies cultural appropriation. In contrast, cultural appreciation involves engaging with another culture respectfully and without personal gain. For instance, purchasing artwork from an Indigenous artist to display in your home demonstrates appreciation rather than appropriation.
By learning and understanding these race-related terms, we can foster more fruitful conversations about race within our families, schools, workplaces, and communities. As Maya Angelou wisely stated, “When we know better, we do better.”
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In summary, understanding and discussing race with the appropriate terminology is vital for fostering healthy conversations and promoting racial awareness in our communities.
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