As spring break approaches, I’m gearing up for a college tour in California with my 16-year-old son, my husband, and our younger child. The parenting experts remind us that these visits are primarily about the students, but it’s impossible not to reflect on my own experiences during this pivotal time. Parenthood has a unique way of awakening cherished memories, and I vividly recall my own high school junior year as I look at my son stepping into his future.
Back in 1988, my mother and I took a road trip from San Diego to explore various college campuses during my spring break. She was thrilled to take time off work and make that trip possible. We cruised up the coastline in her trusty ’85 Corolla, singing along to U2’s The Joshua Tree on the cassette player, and stopping at roadside motels that welcomed us with “Vacancy” signs. We shared laughter and awe over the stunning views. At UC Santa Cruz, I quickly whispered to my mom that I had no intention of attending, despite her free-spirited nature—she would have thrived there, but I was still trying to fit into the conventional mold of the 80s. We did leave with a Banana Slug shirt, though, as I’ve always had a soft spot for quirky mascots, even when I aimed to be as typical as possible.
That trip with my mom was magical. We were filled with hope for the future, oblivious to the financial struggles that lay ahead. My mother had devoted her life to raising me, and now that my son is 16, I truly appreciate the mixed feelings of joy, pride, and a pinch of sadness that come with such milestones.
Before that memorable road trip, my mom had relocated us from a quaint 1920s Spanish bungalow near Balboa Park to a more generic apartment complex in a better school district far north of San Diego. I transitioned from a small, innovative school named after John Muir, where we called teachers by their first names, to a much larger, conventional high school. My mom endured long commutes to ensure I received a solid education, emphasizing that I was there for a purpose. As a former English professor, she tutored me in writing while I worked hard to meet the expectations of a “well-rounded” student, all while balancing sports and activities that were in vogue for college admissions in the 80s. Whenever my motivation faltered, she reminded me of her sacrifices to provide this opportunity.
We were a quirky, liberal version of an immigrant family, navigating the suburban landscape where literature took precedence over math. I remember bringing home a progress report featuring a B in English, which did not sit well with my mother. A B in math was acceptable, but English? That was a different story. Our life was a constant effort to fit in, while my mom remained unapologetically herself.
We both knew I was destined for college, and there was never any doubt that I’d find the right fit for me. Our road trip was a celebration of the American Dream, with the windows cranked down as we drove along the Pacific Coast Highway. Back then, tuition was non-existent at UC schools, and registration fees barely grazed $3,000 a year, a far cry from today’s costs.
Now, as I prepare for this journey with my son, I can’t help but wonder how he perceives his future and what he thinks of his unconventional mother. Perhaps he’ll share his thoughts with me when he’s 47, taking his own child on a college tour. This spring, we’ll undoubtedly have a great time together. Unlike my trip, we’ll be in a more comfortable car, stay in nicer hotels, and won’t have to hunt for vacancies. I plan to blast The Joshua Tree with the windows down, enjoying the ocean breeze.
Yet, despite the conveniences we’ll experience, I doubt we can replicate the pure joy my mother and I shared in 1988. That connection was one of a kind, and it’s a memory I treasure dearly.
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Summary
A mother reflects on her nostalgic college tour road trip with her mom in 1988, as she prepares to take her son on a similar journey. She navigates the emotions of parenthood, milestones, and the evolving landscape of college education while cherishing the unique bond shared with her own mother.
Keyphrase: college tour road trip
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