Did that title make you uneasy? Imagine your five-year-old daughter coming home from school, excitedly sharing that she played a “secret tickling game” with a 12-year-old on the school bus. Heart-stopping, right? That’s exactly what happened to me, leading me to collaborate with State Senator Mark Harrington to champion a new law concerning school bus surveillance footage.
The Beginning of a New Journey
In August 2019, my daughter was thrilled to start kindergarten. She was not just moving up a grade at her preschool but was particularly excited about riding the school bus. Growing up in a small, rural town where bus rides were commonplace, I considered it a good idea. With two younger children at home, having her on the bus would simplify our daily routine. Her excitement left me no room to say no.
Kindergarten began, and the bus ride became the highlight of her day. Each afternoon, she hopped off the bus, bursting with stories about her day and her new friend on the bus. However, I never thought to inquire about her friend’s age.
Daily, she regaled me with tales about this friend. The bus had tinted windows, preventing me from seeing where she sat, so I assumed she followed my advice and sat near the front. I believed the bus driver would maintain that order, as mine did when I was young. If not, I figured older kids would keep the younger ones at bay.
A Disturbing Change
That routine continued until one September afternoon, when her responses changed dramatically. I asked about her day and the bus ride, and her demeanor shifted. She stiffened and looked at me as if I had caught her in a lie. My heart raced as I probed further; she eventually broke down in tears, fearing she was in trouble.
Confused, I reassured her that she wasn’t in trouble. But then she revealed that her “friend” instructed her not to tell me about their “secret tickling game.” My stomach dropped. While I tried to stay calm, the gravity of the situation weighed heavily on me. Surely this was a misunderstanding, but her body language suggested otherwise.
We spent the next ten minutes discussing this so-called game. Thankfully, I had heeded advice from online parenting forums to teach my kids the correct names for their body parts. When I asked her, “Did your friend touch your private area?” there was no ambiguity. After a thorough discussion, she assured me nothing inappropriate occurred, but the fact that her friend told her to keep it secret raised alarm bells.
Taking Action
I learned that my daughter had been sitting in the back of the bus with her 12-year-old friend, who had been encouraging her to move there. Alarmed, I immediately emailed the principal, indicating I would be at the school first thing in the morning.
At the meeting with the principal and assistant principal, I explained the situation. They took my concerns seriously and noted that if a 12-year-old was engaging in such behavior, it was possible they had experienced abuse themselves. They assured me they would investigate, but when I inquired about reviewing the bus footage, I was denied access. This felt deeply unsettling; I needed to know whether my child had been in a dangerous situation.
As the day progressed, I felt an increasing sense of urgency. I called the local sheriff’s office, only to be told they couldn’t assist unless a crime had been committed. Frustrated, I contacted a lawyer who recommended I file a report with child services. They would determine whether an investigation was warranted.
When I called DCS to report the incident, I sensed their reluctance. The representative dismissed my concerns, insisting that my daughter would have told me if something was wrong. I was furious; I knew that abuse victims often don’t disclose their experiences, especially at such a young age.
Uncovering the Truth
Determined, I visited the bus garage to uncover more information. I learned that the bus had had several issues, and coincidentally, the driver was no longer employed. It was disheartening.
That evening, the school resource officer reached out to me. He had reviewed the footage from the day my daughter spoke up but only for that specific day and found nothing amiss. I pressed for previous footage, but he opted to report it to DCS instead. Unfortunately, they decided not to investigate due to the ages of both children involved.
Despite his efforts, it became clear that the system was failing us. I reached out to the district attorney’s office, only to learn that an investigation hinged on a subpoena from the sheriff’s office, which had already been uncooperative.
Advocating for Change
My determination did not waver. I was relentless, but as I navigated this labyrinth of bureaucracy, it became clear that the safety of our children was not a priority. This experience ignited a fire within me to advocate for change, which eventually led to the new law regarding school bus video footage in Tennessee.
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In summary, the alarming situation I faced with my daughter on the school bus not only highlighted the urgent need for better safety measures in schools but also propelled me to work towards meaningful legislative change.
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