About a year ago, I found myself grappling with a significant decision: where to enroll my son for kindergarten. As fall enrollment approached, my spouse and I faced a challenging choice. Our four-year-old had been displaying aggressive and disruptive behavior at daycare, and after consulting various doctors and specialists, we still couldn’t figure out if it was merely a delay in impulse control or the onset of ADHD.
Like many parents, my instinct was to throw money at the issue in hopes of resolving it. I bought numerous books, consulted countless behavior specialists, and invested in all the “tools” I could find—a weighted blanket, calming swing, fidget spinners, you name it. When it came time to choose a school, I applied the same logic. Although our public school was solid, I believed that a prestigious private school would provide the individualized attention my son needed. With a teacher-to-student ratio of 1:18 (versus 1:26 in public school), I decided to accept the steep tuition fees, convinced I was doing what was best for my son.
However, after just 24 days at that private school, we were summoned to discuss my son’s disruptive behavior. Instead of a collaborative plan, we were told to collect his belongings. The teacher had simply reached her limit. I felt as if my world shattered, and my heart ached for my son. We had all been putting in so much effort—him more than anyone—and it was heartbreaking to see him dismissed so easily. As they spoke of test scores and academic achievements, I wondered, “Why aren’t they focusing on social skills and communication? These kids are just five!”
The very next day, we enrolled him in the public school, eager to maintain some continuity in his routine and trying to remain positive about new friendships and teachers. I shared all my concerns with his new teacher and even met with the principal ahead of time. We discussed 504 plans and IEPs; I was amazed at how many resources were available to us at no cost. Ultimately, we decided not to pursue any special interventions, as it became clear that my son was much happier and more comfortable in this new environment. His behavior improved naturally without any formal support.
The teacher at the public school turned out to be a blessing. She embraced my son and earned his respect right from the start. She created a nurturing space where he felt secure, balancing firmness with kindness. We communicated daily about his progress; she shared ideas for activities at home and even sent me notes and pictures during her breaks to reassure me.
She implemented strategies to help my son with his attention span and personal space; she rearranged the classroom setting to accommodate him. He was not viewed as a burden—he was simply part of the classroom community. This was the key distinction between the private and public school experiences. While we still faced behavioral challenges and occasional meetings with the principal, we noticed a 90% reduction in aggressive behavior. The remaining 10%? Time was all he needed to develop at his own pace.
As my son approaches his sixth birthday, I now realize that public school has been the best fit for him. I only wish I had understood sooner that money wouldn’t resolve behavioral challenges. Everything my son required was readily available in the public school system, including the most dedicated teacher I’ve ever encountered.
We did find a silver lining in our private school experience: the administration refunded our hefty tuition. We decided to use that money for a family vacation to the beach—a much-needed getaway after navigating one of our toughest challenges. As I stood by the ocean, reflecting on our journey, I felt immense gratitude. Thank goodness we found a place where my son can thrive. Thank goodness for teachers who genuinely care. Thank goodness for his school.
In the end, my son is exactly where he’s meant to be, and that brings me more peace than any expensive school ever could.
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Summary
This article reflects on a mother’s experience of realizing that her son thrived more in a public school setting than in a costly private school. Through a supportive teacher and a nurturing environment, her son’s behavior improved significantly. The piece emphasizes that love and understanding often outweigh monetary investment in education.
Keyphrase
private school vs public school
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