Dear Determined Little One,
This morning was quite the challenge. I squeezed too much toothpaste onto your toothbrush, I handed you a blue plate instead of the pink one you wanted, and your cereal was, as you put it, “gross.” Those socks didn’t feel right, and I wouldn’t allow you to bring your Pokémon cards to school. As always, we were running late, and you kicked off your boots, screaming with clenched fists, displaying your fury.
I understand, buddy. You feel overwhelmed by rules, and I know you’re frustrated because you want to do everything yourself. (Trust me, there will come a day when you can tie your own shoes and pour your own milk!) I recognize that you get irritated when I say no or when things don’t go your way. Your mind is fierce, intelligent, and wonderfully complex.
I’m navigating this parenting thing just like you are, and I often worry that you might think you’re not a good kid. I have shared countless positive affirmations to counterbalance all the times I’ve had to say no or responded in frustration. Am I doing enough? Do you realize how amazing you truly are?
Dear spirited child, did you know I thought parenting would be a walk in the park? I never expected you to be the way you are—how could I have foreseen it?
Some days, I let you win battles that I probably shouldn’t. I’m just so exhausted, and I run out of steam. Do you know that there are mornings I let you indulge in candy for breakfast, wear your pajamas to school, or give in and let you watch yet another cartoon?
The judgment from strangers and even some family members can be exhausting. If I hear one more person suggest a good spanking or tell me I need to discipline you more, I might lose it. Seriously, Uncle Mark, do you think I haven’t considered that?
They don’t see you for who you are, but I do. I would carry you, kicking and screaming, out of the grocery store a thousand times if it means I get to nurture your indomitable spirit. Your strong mind and energy are not something to be dampened or controlled.
You often hear people describe you as hard or difficult, and I have to remind myself not to use those words either. Instead, you are determined and headstrong. It’s tough to contain those traits in a small body that’s bursting with big ideas and thoughts.
There are days when I question how we will get through. We’ve had so many arguments, and sometimes you yell that you hate me—each time, it pierces my heart. Many days, I find myself teary-eyed, and I can’t count how many times you’ve pummeled your fists into me. I’m worn out, and you’ve had more meltdowns than I can count this week.
On those days, I wonder if I’m doing a good job. Would you behave this way with a different mother? I’ve taken what feels like a hundred deep breaths, yet I still find myself on edge. I want so desperately to be the best mother for you, but I still catch myself thinking, am I enough?
On days like this, I remind myself that these feelings and moments will pass. We are not defined by our battles; these challenges are necessary for you to grow into the person you are meant to be. We will be defined by the quiet moments that come after the storm—those times when I hug you and tell you I love you or when you, just five years old, ask to play family, with you as the dad and me as the child. It reminds me that you are just a curious soul, ready to learn and explore, not the rebellious teen I sometimes feel I’m up against.
And in those moments, I realize that one day, I will miss all of this. I will miss your fierce spirit and our battles. Soon enough, you’ll be off changing the world—perhaps as a CEO, inventing something groundbreaking, or even running for President. You’ll be busy being the incredible person you are, and I’ll look back fondly on these days.
So, during these tough times, I find the strength to smile. I see you, in all your frustrated glory, and work alongside you to solve the problems at hand. You are perfect just as you are. You challenge me, you push me to my limits, but you are also astonishing.
My heart swells when I see your excitement. Your eyes shine brighter than the morning sun when you talk about something you love, and you beam with pride when you receive a compliment. You may not always show it, but you are remarkably humble, sensitive, and thoughtful—everything I could have wished for in a child.
Dear determined little one, I know I can handle our worst days because I remind myself that you will accomplish great things. I’d go through all of it again and again just to share your journey. You are brilliant, funny, full of life, and sassy—your voice will never be silenced.
One day, you’ll channel that energy into standing up for what you believe in and pursuing what makes your heart sing, until you find your perfect melody.
But there are still those days when I find myself crying into my coffee or gripping my phone tightly after a call from the teacher, praying I’ll witness your transformation into a butterfly.
When I peek in on you at night, watching you sleep peacefully, I wonder how so much intensity can fit into such a small frame. I smile, brush a stray hair from your face, and know you are perfect. I lean down to kiss you, overwhelmed with love, and I realize how lucky I am to be your mother.
I prepare for the worst, hope for the best, and cherish every thrilling moment of this ride.
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Summary:
The author reflects on the challenges and joys of raising a spirited child. Through moments of frustration and love, they recognize the strength and brilliance in their child’s strong-willed nature, aiming to nurture it while navigating the ups and downs of parenting.
Keyphrase: Strong-willed child parenting
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