30+ Wine Jokes And Puns That Will Give You a Riesling to Smile About

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Good food, fine wine, and great company are some of life’s simplest joys, and wine certainly holds a unique spot in that lineup. If you’re a fan of all things vino—thinking about it, reading about it, and sipping it—you likely enjoy a hearty laugh and some quirky wine facts as well. Here are 31 wine-related jokes and puns that are sure to give you a Riesling to feel joyful about life. For an even better experience, pair these with our delightful cheese puns for a truly full-bodied good time.

For all the wine lovers out there, consider some healthier wine options to enjoy with our jokes. Opt for dry red wines with lower alcohol levels, as they’re a smarter choice compared to sweeter varieties. Also, wines high in tannins can help keep cholesterol in check—good for your heart! Between the laughter and these tips, you might just be giving your abs a bit of a workout! (Just kidding, but your body will thank you for the healthier choices.)

Wine has an incredible way of wrapping up a tough day. We’ve all had those evenings when a glass of wine feels just like a cozy hug. And let’s be honest: A glass of pinot a day might just keep the doctor away… or something like that. So even if your wine rack is looking a little bare, these jokes will uplift you and leave you giggling.

Wine Jokes:

  1. I enjoy cooking with wine. Sometimes, I even add it to the food!
  2. My bucket list starts with filling a bucket with wine.
  3. What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
  4. We all need a Riesling to brighten our spirits sometimes.
  5. I’ve trained my dog to fetch my red wine; it’s a Bordeaux collie!
  6. He claimed his non-alcoholic wine was delightful; I said he had no proof.
  7. Wine gets better with age. I get better with wine.
  8. Do librarians prefer white wine? No, they prefer theirs well red!
  9. Why do I love wine? I have my rieslings.
  10. When you have a hangover from wine, it’s called the Grape Depression.
  11. I heard on the grapevine that doctors created a new grape variety that acts as an anti-diuretic. It’s called pinot more!
  12. I’m a wine aficionado; the more I drink, the more enthusiastic I become.
  13. Whether the glass is half empty or half full, there’s always room for more wine!
  14. What wine do they serve at horse races? Chardon-neigh!
  15. I drank so much wine last night that I won the dance competition just walking to get another glass!
  16. I can’t wait until I can enjoy wine with my kids instead of needing it because of them.
  17. What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection? Mos-cat-o!
  18. Some enjoy beer goggles; I prefer wine glasses.
  19. They knew I wanted champagne; it was chilling.
  20. The downside of collecting wine? You always end up getting screwed.
  21. What type of wine makes you sleepy? Sauvign-yawn blanc!
  22. When I feel like whining, I remind myself to cork it.
  23. Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business? They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
  24. What happened to the little grape that didn’t want to become wine? Sadly, he was pressed into service!
  25. What do sailors drink at a tavern to commiserate? Port whine!
  26. Why did the wine expert drink from an old tire? He heard it was a Goodyear!
  27. You had me at merlot.
  28. Adulting makes me wine.
  29. Love the wine you’re with.
  30. Chardonnay or should I go?
  31. When I drink wine, I tend to make pour decisions.

Wine Puns:

  • Great minds drink alike.
  • I make pour decisions.
  • Here for the right riesling.
  • On cloud wine.
  • Partners in wine.
  • No wine left behind.
  • Sip happens.
  • It’s wine o’clock.
  • Stop and smell the rosé.
  • Everything happens for a riesling, right?
  • Love the wine you’re with.
  • Oh, sweet child of wine.
  • I need to re-wine my life.
  • You’re the wine that I want.
  • You are so bottlefull to me.
  • Another glass? Wine not?
  • Will you accept this rosé?

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In summary, wine can bring joy, laughter, and a sense of community. These jokes and puns are perfect for sharing with friends, making any gathering a bit more lively. So pour yourself a glass, share a laugh, and remember that life is too short to take too seriously!

Keyphrase: Wine jokes and puns

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