By: Laura Grainger
Updated: Feb. 24, 2020
NBC has given us some of the best comedies of all time—think Parks and Recreation, Friends, and The Office. Among these is the brilliant ’30 Rock’, which premiered in 2006. This laugh-out-loud series, created by the talented Tina Fey, follows the behind-the-scenes chaos of a fictional NBC sketch show. Although it concluded in 2013, the show’s witty lines remain timeless and continue to bring smiles. Here’s a collection of memorable quotes that showcase the comedic brilliance of Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy.
Liz Lemon
- “At summer camp, I once kissed a girl for a dare, but then she drowned.”
- “Hey, geeks! Who’s got two thumbs, speaks a little French, and hasn’t cried today? This girl!”
- “No matter how long you’ve lived in New York, looking up and pretending the buildings are giant severed robot penises is always fun.”
- “I really don’t think it’s fair for me to serve on a jury since I’m a hologram.”
- “We have a show tonight. I’ve never missed one, not even when I had that virus that supposedly only raccoons get.”
- “Tracy exploited my white guilt, which is supposed to be used for good, like over-tipping and supporting Barack Obama.”
- “I’m telling you all I can’t be pregnant because I’ve been on my period for 61 days.”
- “Did you think I wouldn’t recognize my college futon, known for its lack of sex stains?”
- “Lizzing is when you laugh so hard, you almost pee yourself.”
- “I once saw my grandparents making love and didn’t leave immediately!”
- “Sorry, Jack, I have to take this. Yes, could I please speak to pizza?”
- “If reality TV has taught us anything, it’s that shameless people can’t be kept down.”
Jack Donaghy
- “I didn’t get a bathroom door that looks like a wall by being bad at business.”
- “Want a confession? Let’s do this so I can eat. I’m divorced. I take the Lord’s name in vain frequently. I may have hit my mom with a car, possibly by accident.”
- “Rich 50 is like middle-class 38.”
- “Lemon, you look awful, and I once saw you eat oysters while sick.”
- “I don’t sleep on planes. I’m not interested in being incepted.”
- “I’m not a creative type like you, with your work sneakers and left-handedness.”
- “I did Big Brother in college. That little girl taught me how to use tampons.”
- “I have to talk to Rachel Maddow. Only one of us can rock this haircut.”
- “What’s wrong, Lemon? When I see you biting your nails, you’re either incredibly anxious or you just handled some ham.”
- “I only pass gas once a year, for an hour, on a mountain in Switzerland.”
- Liz: “Why are you in a tux?” Jack: “It’s after six. What am I, a farmer?”
Jenna Maroney
- “Relationships are like sharks, Liz: if you’re not left with bite marks after, something’s off.”
- “This is a nightmare. My enemies—Abigail Breslin and that woman from those Progressive Insurance commercials—are in the audience.”
- “You’re engaged?! What if the bachelorette party theme was ‘sluts?’”
- “There’s no ‘I’ or ‘me’ in ‘America.’”
- “You look like the flashcard that means sadness.”
- “Fine, I’ll pause my feud with Raven Symone for a day, but she knows what she did.”
- “I’m sure she’s down there, chain-smoking, waiting for me to come out, just like on the day I was born.”
- “When I was in pageants, my mom said three things stand between you and winning: your breasts, and wanting it bad enough.”
- “You know what they say boys. If you can’t handle the heat, get off Mickey Rourke’s sex grill.”
Tracy Jordan
- “Stop eating people’s old French fries, pigeon! Have some self-respect! Don’t you know you can fly?”
- “Here’s some advice I wish I’d received at your age: Live every week like it’s Shark Week.”
- “Tell her you want her to donate her body to science, and you’re science. Tell her, Jack!”
- “I believe the moon doesn’t exist. I believe vampires are the best golfers, but their curse is they never get to prove it. Wait, what was the question?”
- “I watched Boston Legal nine times before I realized it wasn’t a new Star Trek.”
- “I’m not rehearsing. I’m going to grab a sandwich and eat it on the toilet.”
- “I am a stabbing robot.”
- “I promise. I swear on my mother’s grape.”
- “A book hasn’t caused me this much trouble since Where’s Waldo visited that barber pole factory.”
- “You remember Donald, my son who’s two years older than me.”
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In summary, ’30 Rock’ remains an iconic series that continues to amuse audiences with its clever humor and unforgettable characters. The quotes from Liz, Jack, Jenna, and Tracy capture the essence of the show and its unique take on life and relationships, making it a timeless classic.
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