From the instant I found myself in an embarrassing situation during labor, I knew I wanted to stick with just one child. Throughout my pregnancy, thoughts of having multiple kids flickered in and out of my mind, but the physical and emotional toll made me question my choices. Where was the mythical glow everyone raved about? Instead, I felt more like that overworked gym teacher whom no one wants to see at the school dance. I often thought, “How do people willingly go through this more than once? Do they secretly loathe themselves?”
Initially, I imagined having two kids. I share a fantastic bond with my younger sister, and my partner, Mark, has a close relationship with his brother. Growing up, I assumed siblinghood was just a standard package deal for families. But as my due date passed, I experienced my first wave of mom guilt. While driving home from my induction appointment, I cranked up some holiday tunes, trying to soothe myself after learning that I wasn’t ready for labor. In that moment, clarity struck: I despised being pregnant. Not in a humorous, relatable way—no, I genuinely loathed every second of those nine months.
A rush of guilt washed over me. What maternal instinct was I lacking that made me dislike something so quintessentially female? Was this the feeling I was destined to experience in motherhood? Then, to add insult to injury, I felt cheated for having mom guilt before even welcoming my baby into the world. I thought, “Can I really do this again?” More guilt.
But that moment on the table? It was my turning point. I distinctly remember thinking, “I refuse to do this again.” And you know what? As much as I cherish my son, I’ve never wavered from that decision.
Sure, there are moments when guilt creeps in, making me wonder if I’m short-changing my son. But the overwhelming feeling is one of validation in our choice to have only one child. Every family dynamic is unique, and the decision to have more kids is deeply personal—being “one and done” is just right for us.
1. Emotional Capacity
I’ve battled depression and anxiety before parenthood, so I was aware of my risk for postpartum depression. Still, I was taken aback by its intensity, leading me to loathe myself during my son’s early years. Motherhood hasn’t been a walk in the park, and I often find myself worrying that I’m failing him. Yet, I hold onto the fact that people frequently commend us for raising such a cheerful child, which helps drown out the self-doubt. I’ve learned my limits; I have a limited emotional reserve, most of which is dedicated to my son. I’m a happier parent with just one child, and that happiness translates to better parenting.
2. Motivation Through Challenges
Mark encouraged me during labor with chants of “just one more push!” I clung to that motivation, and even now, as a mom, it helps me navigate the tough phases of parenting. Right now, I dread meal times with my three-year-old. I loathe whipping up dishes I know he won’t touch, only to end up at a fast-food drive-thru later. But I get through it by reminding myself, “You only have to tackle this stage once.” This mantra keeps me grounded, focused on the present, and reassured that we’re only having one child. Just one more push.
3. Providing a Good Life
Mark serves in the military, and I work part-time; we’re not rolling in dough. Yet, we manage to live a life that feels uniquely ours, budgeting our time and finances wisely. We can afford to enroll our son in activities, like skating lessons, and we can both cheer him on at his weekend soccer games. He may not have every toy on the market, but he definitely won’t go wanting, and we’ll always be there for him. Having another child would mean sacrificing the lifestyle we enjoy, and honestly, if it’s not broken, why fix it?
4. Finding Community
I’m fortunate to be on the same page with Mark about our parenting choices. My circle of friends and family has always supported our decision to have just one child. Any judgment I encounter tends to come from strangers, but their opinions don’t matter. The one-child family is the fastest-growing unit in the U.S., so why is it still viewed as a taboo? If you lack a supportive network, consider visiting communities like r/oneanddone or r/breakingmom on Reddit, where you can connect with those who’ve made similar choices.
Ultimately, the design of your family unit is a decision only you can make. You’re the one who will live with your choices! I know wholeheartedly that being one and done is the right path for us, and I couldn’t care less if others disagree. The next time I have an embarrassing moment like that, it will be on my deathbed.
For more insights on raising children and home insemination, check out this article on sickle-cell disease or visit Make A Mom for expert information on home insemination kits. If you’re looking for an excellent resource on pregnancy, WebMD offers a wealth of information.
Summary
In a candid reflection on the journey of motherhood, Jenna Martin shares her realization that one child is more than enough for her family. From navigating emotional challenges to understanding the joys of parenting, she embraces her choice with confidence. Through support from her partner and community, she finds validation in her decision, highlighting the unique dynamics of each family. Ultimately, her story serves as a reminder that the right choice for one family may not be the same for another.
Keyphrase: one child family decision
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