The comedy series ‘New Roommates’ burst onto the scene in 2011 and quickly captured the hearts of audiences everywhere. With its portrayal of a group of thirty-somethings navigating life’s chaos, it’s no wonder viewers found it so relatable. Starring Zoe as the quirky Jess, the sole female in a loft filled with guys, the show kept us chuckling until it concluded its run in 2018. But who says the laughter has to end? While we still feel a little lost without it, the witty one-liners and memorable quotes from the series are sure to keep the spirit alive.
We’ve rounded up over 115 of the most hilarious and absurd quotes from Jess, Nick, Sam, Winston, Coach, and Cece. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the wisdom—if we can call it that—from your favorite characters!
Jess
- “When I do the chicken dance, I add a little twist. Instead of clapping, I peck like a chicken. Much more authentic!”
- “So, how’s that backside treating you? A real blast from the past!”
- “I just wanted to jam to Taylor Swift alone!”
- “My first crush was on a Batman cake, and teenage Simba made me feel things I still can’t explain.”
- “I’ll have the strongest drink you’ve got…and maybe a wine spritzer on the side, just in case it’s awful.”
Jess: “Last night was the best night of my life!”
Nick: “Oh, that was you? I thought it was just two bums having a scuffle!”
Jess: “Nope, that was me. I had an out-of-body experience, met my grandparents, freaked out a few teenagers, and now the guy thinks my name is Katie and that I’m into puppetry!”
- “You can’t judge women by their breast size! That’s the least important part—unless you’re a baby. Are you a baby?”
- “My boyfriend doesn’t trust banks yet. It’s still early; I’m not even shaving above the knee!”
- “Nick has no life plan. I found a note that said ‘Put on pants.’”
- “I need to go to Ikea because I totally ruined my dresser last night.”
- “Just a heads-up, I’m all about feminist rants. Get ready!”
Nick
- “Can I get an alcohol?”
- “I’m embracing getting older; I feel like I’m finally becoming who I’m meant to be.”
- “I want to kill you, but only because I respect you. Jess, I think I finally understand hunting!”
- “We’re not being mean; we just don’t want you to be yourself…at all.”
- “I can’t go to jail! I’m too sarcastic for the white gangs!”
- “I’ve decided to give up on women and invest all that energy in tomatoes instead.”
Schmidt
- “Old folks give me the creeps. They’re like the human equivalent of pleated pants.”
- “I’m like a Hebrew cheetah.”
- “Beans? Just soggy nuts.”
- “Can we take a moment to celebrate me?”
- “I’m a unique sexual experience! Each night is different.”
- “Sick people wanted me, and dying people wanted to be me. I was the total candy striping package!”
Winston
- “If I were crazy, would I really take weekly selfies with my cat?”
- “Saturday is for sleeping, and no one can take that away from me!”
- “They call me Prank Sinatra!”
- “What would be better than a wedding invitation engraved on a plate? Now that would be magical!”
Coach
- “Who’s talking to you, Depression-era garbage man?”
- “I need everyone to pipe down.”
- “Your butts belong to me now!”
- “Can’t spell ‘sex’ without ‘ex.’”
Cece
- “I’m pulling my bride card!”
- “I’ve kissed half the guys in this room.”
- “Just because a scary dude yelled his name doesn’t mean you can’t like sake baths.”
- “The mere existence of socks proves that shoes don’t work.”
These gems remind us of the characters’ quirks and the absurdity of life with roommates. For more laughs and insights into home life, check out our other posts like this one about nutritional guidance or learn about essential tools for home insemination over at Make a Mom.
For anyone interested in pregnancy resources, March of Dimes offers excellent information.
Summary
The quirky antics and memorable quotes from ‘New Roommates’ provide endless entertainment and relatable moments for anyone living with friends. From Jess’s absurd observations to Nick’s sarcastic musings, each character offers a unique perspective on life, love, and the trials of adulthood.
Keyphrase: “funny quotes from New Girl”
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