Since its debut in 2005, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia has been a comedic standout, continuously captivating audiences through its fourteen seasons. With its ensemble cast featuring the quirks of characters like Max, Charlie, Dan, Dee, and Frank—played by the iconic Danny DeVito—this show consistently delivers politically incorrect humor and socially awkward scenarios that keep fans coming back for more.
To celebrate the uproarious moments that this series brings us, we’ve put together a collection of our favorite quotes that highlight the best—and sometimes the worst—of The Gang. Prepare for laughter!
Charlie’s Quotes
- “Cat in the wall? Now that’s my kind of conversation.”
- “I was followed by ten cats. They just keep coming, man.”
- “So, you saw me munching on that Hot Pocket I fished out of the trash?”
- “Keep singing, lady. You might not have a face left when I’m done!”
- “Dude, I can handle my sedatives just fine.”
- “I’m not an executioner; I’m the greatest bird lawyer in existence.”
- “I’m just here to unwind, get blackout drunk, and be left alone.”
- “That’s just the way politics work, buddy!”
- “What’s this ‘spa’ nonsense? Are you trying to say spaghetti?”
- “‘Just get a job?’ Why don’t I just wear a job helmet and launch myself into job land?”
Max’s Quotes
- “I do backflips every single day of my life.”
- “That’s about as low as it goes.”
- “Stop it. You’re not the Messiah; you don’t know anything about the Bible.”
- “I spent an entire night under a bridge with a stray dog after downing three bottles of champagne.”
- “Now everyone thinks I’m a rat. They’ll kill me in here because of you.”
- “Turns out I’m too muscular to fit through that.”
- “Science can be a liar sometimes.”
- “I’m not fat; I’m cultivating mass.”
- “Fight milk! The first alcoholic dairy-based protein drink for bodyguards!”
- “Historically, the tough guys always knew carpentry—just like Jesus and Harrison Ford.”
Dennis’s Quotes
- “Let me tell you, I haven’t even come close to peaking. When I do, Philadelphia will feel it.”
- “I talk to myself because, honestly, I have important things to say.”
- “I am the golden god.”
- “I walk with the grace of a gazelle.”
- “I seem relaxed, but really, I’m tense all the time.”
- “I eat when I’m feeling uncomfortable.”
- “Don’t play coy with me, you little minx. I’m waiting for my minions to swarm me.”
- “I’m an attractive man; my sexual appeal is undeniable.”
- “My nose? Crafted by the gods themselves, Frank.”
Dee’s Quotes
- “I will eat your babies, you hear me?!”
- “I’m currently busy with my cat, so…”
- “You all better eat a dick because sweet Dee just beat the system!”
- “We’re coming for you, pointing out all your flaws.”
- “Groban likes his ladies to pop.”
- “I’ll burn you alive just like the last person who messed with me.”
- “If you lack car insurance, you better have dental, because I’m going to grind your teeth to dust!”
- “Out of my way, I’m about to give birth! There’s a baby in me running out of water.”
- “When I perform well in the game, I succeed in life.”
- “I’m not asking for much—just look the other way while I rob this joint blind.”
Frank’s Quotes
- “I’m the trash man!”
- “I dove deep into the culture, sampling the food, and mostly—doing cocaine.”
- “I don’t want to be his buddy; I want to shoot him.”
- “I’ll give you fifty bucks if you drink soup from my shoe. Oh, and take your top off.”
- “I refuse to be buried in a grave. Just toss me in the trash when I’m gone.”
- “Your mother is dead! HA!”
- “What’s up, bitches! I’m a man cheetah! Want to do something with this?”
- “To turn this company around, we need to cut the crust off this shit sandwich!”
- “When life gives you lemons, shove them down someone’s throat until they see yellow.”
- “This is ham soaked in rum.”
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In summary, these quotes from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia perfectly encapsulate the absurd humor and wit of the show. Each character brings their unique flair, making it a beloved series that continues to entertain.
Keyphrase: Always Sunny In Philadelphia Quotes
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