16 Unpleasant Mother-in-Law Behaviors That Should Get a Serious Wake-Up Call

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A few friends and I have committed to a lighthearted yet serious pact regarding our future roles as mothers-in-law: If I ever act like that, please deliver me a swift kick to the shins—I’ll do the same for you. This promise stems from observing some rather undesirable behaviors exhibited by mothers-in-law over the years. It’s essential to recognize that when you marry, you’re not just gaining a partner; you’re also merging families. Toxic micro-aggressions from in-laws can silently undermine relationships, causing stress and strain between partners.

With that in mind, I’ve put together a list of 16 mother-in-law behaviors that warrant a metaphorical punch in the face. Keep in mind, prioritizing your emotional health doesn’t make you a bad daughter-in-law; it makes you wise.

  1. Demand My Son Prioritizes Me Over His Wife
    Once my son ties the knot, his wife takes precedence. I’m preparing myself for that reality, so if I ever throw a tantrum over him choosing her, someone please give me a reality check. He should love her the most, especially since she’ll be the mother of his children.
  2. Encourage My Grandkids to Keep Secrets from Their Parents
    Parents have the final say. There’s no such thing as “grandma privileges” apart from what their parents allow. If I ever risk losing babysitting rights over something trivial, I deserve a serious reprimand.
  3. Interfere in My Son’s Marital Conflicts
    It’s not my place to meddle in the matters of my son and his wife. If I ever attempt to insert myself into their arguments, I need a firm wake-up call.
  4. Reorganize My Daughter-in-Law’s Space
    Sure, I might have a better idea about where the coffee mugs belong, but it’s not my kitchen! If you catch me rearranging her belongings, I expect a swift intervention.
  5. Fold Laundry Without Permission
    Helping out is great, but there are boundaries! If I ever take it upon myself to fold my daughter-in-law’s laundry without asking, someone tie me down and remind me of my manners.
  6. Gift Unflattering Clothes
    If I ever buy my daughter-in-law outfits that are clearly not her style, hoping to mold her into a mini-version of me, I deserve to be put in my place.
  7. Think My Son Can Do No Wrong
    Believing my son is perfect and that his wife is always at fault? That’s a fast track to resentment.
  8. Hold My Daughter-in-Law to Unrealistic Standards
    Assuming my daughter-in-law is flawless only sets her up for failure. No one is perfect, and that expectation is unfair.
  9. Invade Her Privacy
    Knocking is a must! If I ever barge into my daughter-in-law’s room without waiting for an invitation, I expect to be severely reprimanded.
  10. Offer Unwanted Advice
    If I ever start dispensing unsolicited advice, someone should remind me that no one appreciates that—especially not daughters-in-law.
  11. Show Up Without Notice
    If I forget my manners and appear unannounced, I deserve to be reminded of proper etiquette!
  12. Critique Her Cooking
    Adding hot sauce or seasoning to her carefully prepared meals is simply unacceptable and downright rude. If I can’t appreciate her efforts, I should face the consequences.
  13. Ask My Son to Mediate Arguments
    Expecting my son to choose sides in a dispute between me and his wife? Absolutely not. Someone should intervene swiftly!
  14. Gaslight My Daughter-in-Law
    If I ever find myself manipulating my daughter-in-law’s perceptions, that behavior has to stop immediately.
  15. Engage in Passive-Aggressive Behavior
    If I ever resort to low blows and snide comments, I need a serious reality check.
  16. Compare Myself to Her Parents
    If I catch myself musing about how my son and daughter-in-law prefer her parents over me, it’s time for a hard reset on my perspective.

These behaviors are not just poor manners; they can wreak havoc in mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships. I’ll keep this list handy as a reminder to avoid such pitfalls and ensure my friends do the same.

For tips on dealing with challenging mother-in-law dynamics, check out our other blog posts, including a discussion on cutting ties with toxic mothers-in-law and our thoughts on what we wish we could express. If you’re interested in more about home insemination, visit Healthline for excellent guidance, or check out Cryobaby’s At-Home Insemination Kit for top-notch resources. And for more information, don’t miss this article on our blog!

Summary:

This article explores 16 behaviors of mothers-in-law that are detrimental to relationships with their daughters-in-law. From meddling in marital issues to offering unsolicited advice, these actions can create tension and resentment. The author encourages self-awareness and accountability among future mothers-in-law to foster healthier family dynamics.

Keyphrase: Toxic mother-in-law behaviors

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