As a parent, you might not realize you have a spirited child until a calmer sibling comes along, as I discovered with my own kids. Before my second child arrived, I often questioned my parenting skills. I thought perhaps I wasn’t setting firm enough boundaries or providing adequate affection. I assumed my first child’s spirited nature stemmed from my shortcomings.
Then came my second child, and everything changed. Many parents of spirited kids hear others say that “all children are spirited” or “all kids can be unruly.” While it’s true that every child has their challenging moments, spirited children bring an entirely different level of energy and intensity to the table.
In my case, I might not have recognized my son as spirited without having my daughter to compare him to. My daughter, who embodies a calmer disposition, highlighted the differences vividly. Where she thrives on encouragement, my son pays no mind to others’ opinions about his efforts. Gentle reprimands work wonders for her, but my son requires more direct, sometimes stern consequences to understand limits. While my daughter can engage in quiet play for hours, my son demands constant interaction and stimulation—or else he resorts to bouncing off walls and climbing furniture.
I’ll never forget the moment he smashed our glass coffee table, striking it with his drumsticks. In an instant, I knew we’d be avoiding glass furniture forever. He’s also spilled my coffee countless times, even while I was holding it! This has left me in a state of perpetual vigilance whenever I drink around kids. Family game nights can be a rollercoaster ride, as he can be both a sore loser and an overly enthusiastic winner. The noise he generates is relentless, though it has led to some impressive skills like beatboxing and singing.
Yet, it’s not all chaos. My son dove into the world of Harry Potter at eight, and at eleven, he once burst into my room at midnight, sobbing over Dumbledore’s demise. His confidence shines as he dresses in whatever catches his eye and embraces his unique tastes without regard for trends. His creativity knows no bounds, and his heart is as wild as his energy.
Living with a spirited child means securing your furniture and enforcing strict bedtimes for those precious quiet moments. You choose your battles wisely and learn to adapt; otherwise, you’ll find yourself constantly fighting against the current. Many children, like my daughter, are compliant and easy to manage, and that’s wonderful too.
But then there are spirited kids, like my son—endless energy and noise. Some parents, like me, didn’t realize the whirlwind they were raising until a more subdued sibling entered the picture. Others might have a calm child first and mistakenly think they’re the epitome of chill parenting until an energetic second child opens their eyes.
If you’re the parent of an only child who behaves most of the time but occasionally acts out, you likely have a typical child, not a spirited one. So, be kind to those parents you see managing a whirlwind in the classroom; they’re doing their best. Parenting is not a competition, and the universe has a way of balancing things. So, if you’re not careful, you might just find yourself blessed with a spirited child in the future.
Yes, parenting a spirited child often leads to broken furniture and some unexpected messes, but their untamed spirit is a beautiful thing—and why would you ever want to tame it anyway? If you’re interested in exploring more about parenting challenges, check out this related blog post.
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In summary, spirited children bring unique challenges but also immense joy and creativity. Understanding and embracing their wild nature can lead to rewarding parenting experiences.
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